See, I'm all about the moving forward version of life. Everyone's seen some version of the "Lord, give me strength to change what I can and wisdom to accept what I cannot" mantra. I have been highly influenced by people and statements aligning to that view of life and therefore, if someone has an issue or problem, I'm not the one you should go to in order to have a good cry. Because if it's a problem that can't be solved, I'll tell you to walk away. If there's any hope, I will go through the options to solve it with you. That's just how I work.
Now, that isn't true for every single thing that comes my way. Friends who lose a beloved pet, have a family member pass, break up with a significant other... I can empathize with those people and the is a grace period for grief. But even with them, after a few weeks if they haven't started working on the healing process and keep sitting in self pity I get frustrated. I've always been good at pointing out what's wrong with a given situation; in years of late, I've become good at producing ideas for solutions. If people don't want solutions, and just want to be sad but still talk to someone, I just don't understand. Sometimes I want to be sad, but from my understanding of talking to people, you do it to get your feelings out. Organized, put together, begin the feeling better. If you want to mope, why would you talk to someone? At least, that's how I feel. If you're going to talk to me, provided there was no major calamity, you're going to get suggestions for changing your situation, solving your problem, or simply accepting life the way it is if you aren't willing to change.
I deal with a lot of things internally, so I guess I expect others to as well. But after my mom's calling me out on the lack of empathy and compassion, I'm realizing that I do look like a jerk. Which, to be completely honest, doesn't bother me too much. Maybe, though, it bothers other people. So I'm thinking I should start practicing being nicer. Listening without suggesting even if I don't see the point of it. Maybe other people need that sort of thing more than I do. So I'm gonna try and see where it goes. Maybe I'll look like a jerk my whole life. Let's hope not... Here's to practice.
