Have you ever seen the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium? If not, I highly recommend it. I won't tell you any more than the trailer would, but the show is about a magical toystore and how it changes several people's lives. It's a wonderful movie with a lot of valuable lessons. Personally, it's my favorite after Cinderella.
Anyway. At one point in this movie, two of the principal characters are discussing the store. Molly Mahoney is the general manager of the toy store, and Henry Weston is an accountant that has been hired to determine the worth of said store. They have several discussions during the film, usually on some level of an argument because Mahoney sees the store for what it is - magical. Henry Weston, being a logically minded person, simply sees a toystore and a mountain of paperwork for himself in order to complete the job he's been hired for. There is one conversation, however, that strikes me every time I watch the show (yes, that's been quite a few times now), and that I'm sure I will never forget. Weston is seated on a bench just in front of the store when he and Mahoney get in to it once again:
Molly Mahoney: I knew it. As soon as I saw that suit.
Henry Weston: Knew what?
Molly Mahoney: You're a 'just' guy.
Henry Weston: What's a 'just' guy?
Molly Mahoney: A guy just like you. Same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. It's just what it is, nothing more!
Henry Weston: Alright but, but this
[looks over his shoulder]
Henry Weston: is just a store.
Molly Mahoney: I'm sure to you... it is.
What Mahoney sees, but Weston has failed to recognize, is that the Wonder Emporium is much more than 'just' a store... magical or not, it has more value than being simply a place in which to sell toys to eager children.
I was in a similar situation earlier today. A friend and I were conversing about a girl he wants to get to know, but how circumstances aren't helping and he's finding it difficult. He used the same phrase to express his disappointment, as a way to try to dismiss it as unimportant and therefore not worth his frustration - "She's just a girl."
Of course, that may be true if that's how you choose to look at it. We're all 'just' people - if you take away everything about us that makes us people. I countered him quickly, saying "Nobody is ever 'just' anything..." and went on to explain that like he was not 'just' a guy - he has dreams, a future, love to give - that girl isn't 'just' any girl; she's a girl he wants to become friends with and that makes that girl much more important than 'just' being anyone.
The word just can be used, obviously, in many different ways. It's a great word... it can mean something is fair and within reason, as in a just punishment, it can mean by a very small margin, as in you just missed it... but I'm of the opinion that the usage of that particular word in describing things or people should VERY CAREFULLY be done.
You can say the night is just too dark to see outside. You can say your shoes are just too small... for you. But to say that the shoes are just too small.. period.. well, it of course makes sense to you because they no longer fit your feet. However, they aren't too small for someone else, are they? In the same way, my buddy saying that she's "just a girl" allows him to undermine both her importance as a person, but also to undermine his desire to attain her friendship. By her just being another girl, she's equal to every other girl and her sought out friendship could easily be replaced with another girl's... but it JUST doesn't work that way! Sure, another girl could be his friend. Any number of girls could, actually. That does not make up for, in any way, not having the friendship of this particular girl that he wants to be friends with... she is not just anything. She is a girl, with a name, with a history, with a future - she's a girl, unlike any other girl, whose friendship will be unique.
Saying that something is 'just' what it is, as Henry Weston does about the Emporium, grandly reduces its capacity to be anything but that. By saying it's just a toy store, Weston doesn't even allow for the possibility of it being a place of joy, of learning and discovery, of building new friendships - let alone it being magical. Saying that the boy sitting on the football bench watching the game is 'just a wee bit too small' to play immediately limits him... there's no room for him to grow, literally or metaphorically. That same boy, hearing those words, may never believe he'll be big enough to play football with his buddies. Even if he grows to six feet and 200 pounds and could be the best linebacker in his high school's history, he might just remembering overhearing those words, and never believe in himself or give himself the opportunity to try.. he might say to himself, "I'm too small.. I probably won't be able to throw the ball far enough, or run fast enough.. they're right. I'll just be no good."
It happens all the time.. as a POD lyric says - "The same situations - just different faces." You're just this.. just that.. just not adept enough.. just a little too slow. You're just what you are, it's just what it is, and there's no possible way you or it can get any better.
Isn't that ridiculous?!? We need to make a cooperative effort to stop this vicious cycle of justing each other. Flip it all together... every time you hear someone about to say "She's just.." jump in there with every single positive idea you can get together in thirty seconds. "... Gorgeous, talented, got a great attitude, strong.."
Make that effort to refrain from placing limits.
Break the cycle.
Because you aren't just what people say you are, and neither is anyone or anything else.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure... build up the treasures. Don't look at what it is. Imagine what it could become. Everything has more value to it than what first meets the eye. People especially, have inestimable value, if only you look for it.
No limits - only encouragement. Let's JUST focus on that.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Too Much Turkey
I had a few ideas for what I was going to write today - at least, until a few minutes ago. Then I remembered that is Thanksgiving weekend, and it passed through my head that people usually write about something Thanksgiving-related on Thanksgiving. I was deciding whether I should go along with that tradition, but when I revisited the shelf in my brain where I keep my blog ideas, it seems that the Thanksgiving one has crowded everything else out and I simply can't remember any of the others at the moment. Which is kind of weird, and kind of amusing - but I guess I don't have a choice now but to blog about Thanksgiving. However, I'm okay with that.. it's a holiday worth taking note of.
Anyways, here's what I was thinking about Thanksgiving:
Somestimes, it's really a difficult thing to give thanks. Once in a while, we just feel like nothing's going our way and there really isn't anything that we can be thankful for. The usual options - family, friends, food, a home, our pets - just aren't there, aren't working for us. If this is the way you feel, you're not alone...
I've felt like that. You've felt like that. Everyone has those days, months, periods of our lives. It can be hard, especially at a time like Thanksgiving, when the inevitable question eventually pops up - "What are you thankful for?" and you have nothing to say in reply.
A lot of times people are rubbing it in your face, too.. intentionally or not. Common phrase: "If you've got clothes, a roof over your head, and food to eat, you're in the richest two percent of the world," or something along those lines. A friend comes over and says how lucky you are to have that dinner with your family every year; she misses her parents so much this time of year. There's so much turkey talk that you feel birded out and you wish the things would die and we'd all eat pizza.
Yes. I've experienced all of this.
But! That doesn't mean necessarily mean we're rotten, hopeless, or guilty of ingratitude. Of course, it CAN mean those things - but we'll assume for both our sakes that when you or I feel this way, we're just traversing a bit of a rough patch of road in our life. That, in turn, means good news - rough patches never last forever.
Personally, I've found when I'm depressed or stressed and finding it hard to be thankful for much, it helps to look for something I appreciate.
Yes, there is a difference. Check it out.
thank·ful
adj.
1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.
ap·pre·ci·a·tion
n.
1. Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things
See, the way I look at things is this.
You may not be able to feel gratitude for something or someone, even if you can for other things. (Ex. You're thankful for your dog, but right now you're estranged from your brother who is involved in a gang and it's feeling really hard to be thankful for him.)
Or, which usually happens in my case, you're just down and find it hard to appreciate anything... you just don't care, or worse, you'd really rather not have it anyway (for me, that's turkey, every year.. I really don't care for it much!)
Even though I may find it hard to be thankful, it is never hard to recognize the value or significance of something. Even if I hate my family this year (which I don't, but), I can still point out why they're significant to me and to others, even if I don't feel it.
I may not care that I have a house or clothes when I'm hurting, but it would take a simpleton to be unable to point out the importance of such things.
In my experience, cultivating an appreciation for things and people is often easier than being outright thankful for them, if you're having a hard time with it. The good news is being thankful gets easier as well! No matter what you're dealing with, if you continually point out why something is valuable, how it can be used, why someone is worth having around, what you appreciate about a person, you're bound to feel more and more of the worth of the person or item you are describing.
So if you're feeling the effects of the Thanksgiving blues, don't despair. Walk outside and start small - notice the fall leaves on the ground. Even if you think they're the ugliest things on the planet, all wet and rotten, make notice of the fact that they are integral to the land as decomposing fertilizer, and habitat for small animals who use them to line burrows, etc. Just take whatever you know, pick out the positives, and make a list. Sooner or later, you'll find you appreciate those leaves much more than you used to. Maybe go bigger on your next walk. Notice the neighbourhood kids who use the leaves to jump around in, or rake up for a bit of extra cash. See how we're tacking on the levels of importance? Maybe, eventually, if you keep at it, you'll value those leaves as much as you value your children, your parents, your vehicle..
Or maybe not. Just kidding ;)
That's my Thanksgiving challenge to you this season. If you're experiencing difficulty in your thankful attitude, start small and get bigger. If you're not, maybe recommend this strategy to someone else you know is having a hard time of it right now.
Regardless of where you are in your life and what you have or don't, make sure you find at least one thing that you are definitely appreciative of. Thankfulness is a community thing - as soon as you're thankful for something, it inspires it in someone else.. it's a domino effect. And legitimate appreciation for things, services, and other people helps everyone to feel valued and reminds us that we all have worth.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Anyways, here's what I was thinking about Thanksgiving:
Somestimes, it's really a difficult thing to give thanks. Once in a while, we just feel like nothing's going our way and there really isn't anything that we can be thankful for. The usual options - family, friends, food, a home, our pets - just aren't there, aren't working for us. If this is the way you feel, you're not alone...
I've felt like that. You've felt like that. Everyone has those days, months, periods of our lives. It can be hard, especially at a time like Thanksgiving, when the inevitable question eventually pops up - "What are you thankful for?" and you have nothing to say in reply.
A lot of times people are rubbing it in your face, too.. intentionally or not. Common phrase: "If you've got clothes, a roof over your head, and food to eat, you're in the richest two percent of the world," or something along those lines. A friend comes over and says how lucky you are to have that dinner with your family every year; she misses her parents so much this time of year. There's so much turkey talk that you feel birded out and you wish the things would die and we'd all eat pizza.
Yes. I've experienced all of this.
But! That doesn't mean necessarily mean we're rotten, hopeless, or guilty of ingratitude. Of course, it CAN mean those things - but we'll assume for both our sakes that when you or I feel this way, we're just traversing a bit of a rough patch of road in our life. That, in turn, means good news - rough patches never last forever.
Personally, I've found when I'm depressed or stressed and finding it hard to be thankful for much, it helps to look for something I appreciate.
Yes, there is a difference. Check it out.
thank·ful
adj.
1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.
ap·pre·ci·a·tion
n.
1. Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things
See, the way I look at things is this.
You may not be able to feel gratitude for something or someone, even if you can for other things. (Ex. You're thankful for your dog, but right now you're estranged from your brother who is involved in a gang and it's feeling really hard to be thankful for him.)
Or, which usually happens in my case, you're just down and find it hard to appreciate anything... you just don't care, or worse, you'd really rather not have it anyway (for me, that's turkey, every year.. I really don't care for it much!)
Even though I may find it hard to be thankful, it is never hard to recognize the value or significance of something. Even if I hate my family this year (which I don't, but), I can still point out why they're significant to me and to others, even if I don't feel it.
I may not care that I have a house or clothes when I'm hurting, but it would take a simpleton to be unable to point out the importance of such things.
In my experience, cultivating an appreciation for things and people is often easier than being outright thankful for them, if you're having a hard time with it. The good news is being thankful gets easier as well! No matter what you're dealing with, if you continually point out why something is valuable, how it can be used, why someone is worth having around, what you appreciate about a person, you're bound to feel more and more of the worth of the person or item you are describing.
So if you're feeling the effects of the Thanksgiving blues, don't despair. Walk outside and start small - notice the fall leaves on the ground. Even if you think they're the ugliest things on the planet, all wet and rotten, make notice of the fact that they are integral to the land as decomposing fertilizer, and habitat for small animals who use them to line burrows, etc. Just take whatever you know, pick out the positives, and make a list. Sooner or later, you'll find you appreciate those leaves much more than you used to. Maybe go bigger on your next walk. Notice the neighbourhood kids who use the leaves to jump around in, or rake up for a bit of extra cash. See how we're tacking on the levels of importance? Maybe, eventually, if you keep at it, you'll value those leaves as much as you value your children, your parents, your vehicle..
Or maybe not. Just kidding ;)
That's my Thanksgiving challenge to you this season. If you're experiencing difficulty in your thankful attitude, start small and get bigger. If you're not, maybe recommend this strategy to someone else you know is having a hard time of it right now.
Regardless of where you are in your life and what you have or don't, make sure you find at least one thing that you are definitely appreciative of. Thankfulness is a community thing - as soon as you're thankful for something, it inspires it in someone else.. it's a domino effect. And legitimate appreciation for things, services, and other people helps everyone to feel valued and reminds us that we all have worth.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Because Jordan Dared Me.
Words can be injurious. We all know that. However, have you ever thought about how a lack of words could potentially do more damage? In the last few hours, that's really all I could think about.
You may not understand right away. That's okay. We as a society have been taught time and time again to view things from one perspective, and it takes some serious work to break out of that box and see life from a different angle.
So when you think about words, and how they hurt, the first thing that probably comes to mind is some form of bullying or verbal abuse. These are bad. They do hurt. People are victims all the time... less than a week ago, a young homosexual boy shot himself in the head because of the abuse he received at school:
http://www.kidglue.com/2010/09/30/asher-brown-suicide-parents-speak-out-against-bullying-watch/
He was the third young male to do so in three weeks. All for the same reason.
Not that I'm advocating homosexuality. I'm strongly against it. But that boy's life was worth something - and he chose to end it because of words. Not every situation is that intense, but every situation matters.
Earlier this week, I heard someone speak for a few minutes on self esteem. I knew what it was, of course, but he gave me a new understanding of the words, and therefore a deeper appreciation for what they signify. Self esteem is literally self estimation. Let me make that a little clearer. It's how you estimate yourself. Your skills. Your abilities. Your looks. Your personality. Your worth. A person who esteems himself well is a rare sight today. Most of us already underestimate ourselves considerably - and it isn't hard for the little estimation we allow ourselves to get pushed aside by sneering, angry, hurtful words.... or a lack of words at all.
You're probably still wondering what I meant by that. If you've figured it out, congratulations. If not.. imagine this. A high school sports team. Every school has one. That new kid that joined this season. Not much skill-wise, and sort of a social outcast. Nobody talks to him unless they have to.
Direct words can and do cut, but it's been proven that people will take a verbally abusive relationship over absolute solitude, without contact of any kind. Nobody wants to be ignored, and in some ways, that can hurt more than being bullied. Nobody's stupid enough to not notice when everyone else is avoiding them.
My sister and I were talking about her cheer team today. This is going on there, what I will call a silent form of bullying. Together, the team seems strong, and they talk with each other. There are five boys and I think about twenty two girls, give or take one or two. They work as a team, and in practice everyone seems to get along fine... but as soon as practice is over and there's only two or three left, the words start.
"I really, really don't like her." "He's so weird, I wish he'd never joined the team." "She shouldn't have made it, she..." During practice, it's noticable, too. They work together because they have to. But for the most part, the experienced ones stay in a group on water breaks. A couple of the guys are consistantly ignored by the girls - thankfully, the guys treat each other decently and fairly, and they seem to be striking up friendships. But I can't help but see when those two or three that six, or seven, or even all of the team "don't like" show up for practice, and get constantly ignored.. not even a hello, or how was your day... and I see the pain in their eyes as they face the rejection. And even if they don't hear the words, they get the message.
It hurts me. It really does. I mean, I can understand if perhaps they have a bad day with another person and maybe they grated on each other's nerves. That happens.
But when my sister started in on a few people again tonight when we were talking, I turned to her and I was like, "Why don't you like so-and-so? She seems really nice." My sister shrugged her shoulders and was like, "I don't know.. I just don't."
I was floored. I almost wanted to pound her into the floor... but obviously she hasn't thought this out much. So I didn't. It seems to be common at her school. It seems to be common everywhere. That really, really, REALLY bothers me.
She said something about one of the guys, and I was like, "Why can't you give him a chance?!? He may not have his skills perfected yet, but he's a first year! Sometimes people take a little longer to learn.. and this is definitely not natural for any of those boys." She chose to focus on what he was doing wrong that day, and how many times they've corrected him, "but he still doesn't get it." No mention was made of his awesome attitude toward cheer, his natural affibility with his teammates, how much he was improving on other aspects of the routine in the few weeks he'd been part of the team.
It seems like this is becoming part and parcel of today's culture. I'm ashamed to say that much of my generation (the '90's kids), have grown up either without being taught to consider, or even worse, choosing to ignore how they might be affecting the feelings of others. They don't want to take responsibility for their words, because that would mean realizing the damage that all those tiny daggers they have shot out every day for so long actually hurt people. Or, they follow that age old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I don't think the author of that statement meant for individuals to be blandly ignored. Either extreme causes unnecessary pain.
The Bible explains it well...I really don't think it gets much better than this:
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands.
- Mark 9:43
In other words, if there's a part of you that causes damage and hurt to others, either change it or get rid of it. We are losing the ability to focus on the positives of people. I don't want to see more damaged kids. I don't want to see self esteem sink lower and lower. I don't want to see more suicides because we as a society couldn't control our tongues.
Every time I'm at cheer practice, I make a point of talking to those kids who are on the outside. I tell them I'm happy they're there. I tell them they did a great job that day. I point out things I've noticed they improved on. I do whatever I can to make sure they know that at least one other person aside from the coach is glad they're alive and they showed up today.
I know it's not Saturday, and I know that until now, I've been blogging on the weekends. But this caused enough turmoil within my heart for those kids that I felt strongly that I had to write. Today.
I'm trying to train my brain to see the good, and transfer that ability to the muscle in my mouth. I don't want to hurt others. There's enough people doing that. It's hard work sometimes, but as with anything, it comes easier with practice.
What about you? Are you one who continually tears folks down, or do you put effort into building others up? Be mindful of what you say - and we all can always improve.
There's no better time to make the decision to change the way you speak than right now. The next step is to act on it.
You may not understand right away. That's okay. We as a society have been taught time and time again to view things from one perspective, and it takes some serious work to break out of that box and see life from a different angle.
So when you think about words, and how they hurt, the first thing that probably comes to mind is some form of bullying or verbal abuse. These are bad. They do hurt. People are victims all the time... less than a week ago, a young homosexual boy shot himself in the head because of the abuse he received at school:
http://www.kidglue.com/2010/09/30/asher-brown-suicide-parents-speak-out-against-bullying-watch/
He was the third young male to do so in three weeks. All for the same reason.
Not that I'm advocating homosexuality. I'm strongly against it. But that boy's life was worth something - and he chose to end it because of words. Not every situation is that intense, but every situation matters.
Earlier this week, I heard someone speak for a few minutes on self esteem. I knew what it was, of course, but he gave me a new understanding of the words, and therefore a deeper appreciation for what they signify. Self esteem is literally self estimation. Let me make that a little clearer. It's how you estimate yourself. Your skills. Your abilities. Your looks. Your personality. Your worth. A person who esteems himself well is a rare sight today. Most of us already underestimate ourselves considerably - and it isn't hard for the little estimation we allow ourselves to get pushed aside by sneering, angry, hurtful words.... or a lack of words at all.
You're probably still wondering what I meant by that. If you've figured it out, congratulations. If not.. imagine this. A high school sports team. Every school has one. That new kid that joined this season. Not much skill-wise, and sort of a social outcast. Nobody talks to him unless they have to.
Direct words can and do cut, but it's been proven that people will take a verbally abusive relationship over absolute solitude, without contact of any kind. Nobody wants to be ignored, and in some ways, that can hurt more than being bullied. Nobody's stupid enough to not notice when everyone else is avoiding them.
My sister and I were talking about her cheer team today. This is going on there, what I will call a silent form of bullying. Together, the team seems strong, and they talk with each other. There are five boys and I think about twenty two girls, give or take one or two. They work as a team, and in practice everyone seems to get along fine... but as soon as practice is over and there's only two or three left, the words start.
"I really, really don't like her." "He's so weird, I wish he'd never joined the team." "She shouldn't have made it, she..." During practice, it's noticable, too. They work together because they have to. But for the most part, the experienced ones stay in a group on water breaks. A couple of the guys are consistantly ignored by the girls - thankfully, the guys treat each other decently and fairly, and they seem to be striking up friendships. But I can't help but see when those two or three that six, or seven, or even all of the team "don't like" show up for practice, and get constantly ignored.. not even a hello, or how was your day... and I see the pain in their eyes as they face the rejection. And even if they don't hear the words, they get the message.
It hurts me. It really does. I mean, I can understand if perhaps they have a bad day with another person and maybe they grated on each other's nerves. That happens.
But when my sister started in on a few people again tonight when we were talking, I turned to her and I was like, "Why don't you like so-and-so? She seems really nice." My sister shrugged her shoulders and was like, "I don't know.. I just don't."
I was floored. I almost wanted to pound her into the floor... but obviously she hasn't thought this out much. So I didn't. It seems to be common at her school. It seems to be common everywhere. That really, really, REALLY bothers me.
She said something about one of the guys, and I was like, "Why can't you give him a chance?!? He may not have his skills perfected yet, but he's a first year! Sometimes people take a little longer to learn.. and this is definitely not natural for any of those boys." She chose to focus on what he was doing wrong that day, and how many times they've corrected him, "but he still doesn't get it." No mention was made of his awesome attitude toward cheer, his natural affibility with his teammates, how much he was improving on other aspects of the routine in the few weeks he'd been part of the team.
It seems like this is becoming part and parcel of today's culture. I'm ashamed to say that much of my generation (the '90's kids), have grown up either without being taught to consider, or even worse, choosing to ignore how they might be affecting the feelings of others. They don't want to take responsibility for their words, because that would mean realizing the damage that all those tiny daggers they have shot out every day for so long actually hurt people. Or, they follow that age old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I don't think the author of that statement meant for individuals to be blandly ignored. Either extreme causes unnecessary pain.
The Bible explains it well...I really don't think it gets much better than this:
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands.
- Mark 9:43
In other words, if there's a part of you that causes damage and hurt to others, either change it or get rid of it. We are losing the ability to focus on the positives of people. I don't want to see more damaged kids. I don't want to see self esteem sink lower and lower. I don't want to see more suicides because we as a society couldn't control our tongues.
Every time I'm at cheer practice, I make a point of talking to those kids who are on the outside. I tell them I'm happy they're there. I tell them they did a great job that day. I point out things I've noticed they improved on. I do whatever I can to make sure they know that at least one other person aside from the coach is glad they're alive and they showed up today.
I know it's not Saturday, and I know that until now, I've been blogging on the weekends. But this caused enough turmoil within my heart for those kids that I felt strongly that I had to write. Today.
I'm trying to train my brain to see the good, and transfer that ability to the muscle in my mouth. I don't want to hurt others. There's enough people doing that. It's hard work sometimes, but as with anything, it comes easier with practice.
What about you? Are you one who continually tears folks down, or do you put effort into building others up? Be mindful of what you say - and we all can always improve.
There's no better time to make the decision to change the way you speak than right now. The next step is to act on it.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Don't Choke.
Last night, I was texting a buddy and out of the blue he says, "Oh, and I want to talk about your definition of unconditional love. It bugs me." I was like, "Okay..."
At first, I was like, I didn't define it.. not really. Just my opinion. But then I realized that my opinion pretty much is my definition. After I understood that, I was like, okay, let's talk.
It went well and we are still friends.. but that's not really what this blog is about. His comment made me realize that people may pay more attention to this blog than simply reading it occasionally, or even weekly - that maybe, they might think that because I say something, it's truth, or.. you know?
Not to say that what I say may not be true, but that worried me a little. I want you all to understand something. This blog is simply my opinion and perspective on what I'm learning through my daily life experience. My goal is not to instruct you on how you should be. I'm not God, nor am I holding a gun to your head, forcing you to accept my ideas. All I really want this blog to be is an outlet for me, and for all of you, something to make you think. I just want you to think.
My teachers were gracious enough to teach me to think intelligently. To ask questions. To voice opinions. I'm asking you to do the same. With everything you come across - especially this blog. If you don't agree with something I say, or someone else says, that's fine! Same if you agree. Or have a different perspective or take on an idea.
When I read an article in the newspaper or online, I don't just read it from one paper. I search two or three different versions of the story from different sources. Some people miss facts, others twist quotes, or even spin the story into a direction it shouldn't have necessarily taken. Anyone is capable of doing it.
Your opinion and voice are important - but what's even MORE important is how you use them. Stand up. Look at Robespierre in the French revolution. Or a more recent example: British Columbians and the HST. 700,000+ against this tax.. you have power as an individual.
Also, when you're being exposed to information - whether through literature, a speech, the internet, the radio... whatever - check the sources. Talk about it with others. Look for opposite opinions on the same subject. Education is the key... learn as much as you can about something before you make a decision.
So really, what I'm trying to say is this. I hope you like my blog. I know that several read it faithfully and I'm so glad and blessed to know that. But remember, that this is just my opinion, my perspective. I don't want you to just believe or agree with something I say just because I say it. I don't want you to just agree or believe anyone else either. My goal in this entire process is just to make you think. To expand your box, to give you another perspective, to show you how I feel about something. To hopefully enable my circle of friends and my generation to be able to go broader, to be more understanding, to be wiser - through communication and discussion. I just want you to think.
So, go think about that.
At first, I was like, I didn't define it.. not really. Just my opinion. But then I realized that my opinion pretty much is my definition. After I understood that, I was like, okay, let's talk.
It went well and we are still friends.. but that's not really what this blog is about. His comment made me realize that people may pay more attention to this blog than simply reading it occasionally, or even weekly - that maybe, they might think that because I say something, it's truth, or.. you know?
Not to say that what I say may not be true, but that worried me a little. I want you all to understand something. This blog is simply my opinion and perspective on what I'm learning through my daily life experience. My goal is not to instruct you on how you should be. I'm not God, nor am I holding a gun to your head, forcing you to accept my ideas. All I really want this blog to be is an outlet for me, and for all of you, something to make you think. I just want you to think.
My teachers were gracious enough to teach me to think intelligently. To ask questions. To voice opinions. I'm asking you to do the same. With everything you come across - especially this blog. If you don't agree with something I say, or someone else says, that's fine! Same if you agree. Or have a different perspective or take on an idea.
When I read an article in the newspaper or online, I don't just read it from one paper. I search two or three different versions of the story from different sources. Some people miss facts, others twist quotes, or even spin the story into a direction it shouldn't have necessarily taken. Anyone is capable of doing it.
Your opinion and voice are important - but what's even MORE important is how you use them. Stand up. Look at Robespierre in the French revolution. Or a more recent example: British Columbians and the HST. 700,000+ against this tax.. you have power as an individual.
Also, when you're being exposed to information - whether through literature, a speech, the internet, the radio... whatever - check the sources. Talk about it with others. Look for opposite opinions on the same subject. Education is the key... learn as much as you can about something before you make a decision.
So really, what I'm trying to say is this. I hope you like my blog. I know that several read it faithfully and I'm so glad and blessed to know that. But remember, that this is just my opinion, my perspective. I don't want you to just believe or agree with something I say just because I say it. I don't want you to just agree or believe anyone else either. My goal in this entire process is just to make you think. To expand your box, to give you another perspective, to show you how I feel about something. To hopefully enable my circle of friends and my generation to be able to go broader, to be more understanding, to be wiser - through communication and discussion. I just want you to think.
So, go think about that.
Monday, September 27, 2010
For Love or Money?
Love. In my opinion, the most emotionally, physically, mentally, and almost any other -ally loaded word in the dictionary. Also the most confusing.
What is love? I searched for some quotes and definitions, just to see how other people have defined it. Here are some of the best:
FROM KIDS
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." - Terri (age 4)
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." - Bobby (age 7)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend you hate." - Nikka (age 7)
“Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind — Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch.” - Natalie (age 9)
FROM ADULTS
"It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind." - love-sessions.com
"Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that." - teenadvice.com
"Real love demands sacrifice that can’t be found in self-centeredness. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving." - AllAboutGod.com
"Love is ecstasy and torment, freedom and slavery." - time.com
FROM THE DICTIONARY
"Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment." - Wikipedia
"A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." - Dictionary.com
"Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties." - Webster
------
I would say those are all fairly accurate. Fairly. Accurate. They each have a piece of what it is to love. But there is so much more.
The Bible classifies love into three categories:
i) Eros - Erotic love. Strong feelings toward something or someone.
"I love hotdogs." "I love my new girlfriend."
ii) Philos - Love based on relationship.
"I love my best friend because she's always there for me." "I love my husband."
iii) Agape - unconditional
"I'll love my child forever, no matter what." "My spouse loves me unconditionally enough to
forgive me for lying."
Put together, those three simple words wrap the idea of love into one, if not easily comprehendable idea, at least into understandable layman's terms.
There really isn't a "middle" to this post. It's all background until now, and we're jumping ahead to the question.
How will you choose to love?
If you want to, love people like you would hotdogs or your favorite hockey team, and see how it works for you. I'm sure that everyone realizes that love stemmed from attraction can be valuable in starting a relationship, but that's all it will do. A stronger relationship requires going deeper.
The difference between philio love and agape love, to me, is this: forgiveness. And plenty of it. You may appreciate your best friend more than any other person in the entire world, but I know plenty of people who have one or two good scraps with said best friend, and never talk again. It's like those scratch lotto tickets: Sorry, you're out of luck with this friend.. better try and get lucky on the next one.
No. Mankind is just that - mankind. We all make mistakes. We learn differently. We grow up with different values. We were made equally and deserve to be treated as such.
Loving unconditionally does not mean that you let people walk all over you. It does not mean that you have to even like everyone you meet, necessarily. It means that you will treat each person that crosses your path as a person, even if you don't agree on everything.
Two fairly recent examples in my life:
First one, we'll call the fellow Edward. I hung out with Edward and a few other guys quite often over the summer a couple of years ago, and we continued to hang out through the winter, etc. They all swore, and eventually I began to as well. I decided I didn't like that, and I was going to change it. The guys all promised they would make an effort to swear less around me, Edward included; but he had a hard time of it, partially because of his work environment where it was part and parcel of the day. So Edward and I had a talk. I told him plainly that I enjoyed his company and I valued his friendship, but I didn't like his habit of swearing so consistantly. I told him that if he continued, he would be seeing me less, as I didn't want to take part in that anymore nor hang around people who did. It took awhile and a great deal of effort, but I'm proud to say that Edward changed, as I changed.
Example two. Another friend of mine moved out after he got a job. Peter started smoking and drinking heavily. I didn't want that in my life. I told Peter that if he and I were to continue spending time together, he would have to be sober and smoke sparingly. Unfortunately, Peter became addicted to his habits. Communication between us slowed, and eventually stopped for a considerable amount of time. Just a few months ago, Peter started to clean himself up a little. My "rules" still stand. I don't see Peter very often, but we are talking again.
Unconditional love. It means you set boundaries, but boundaries don't mean permanent seclusion. It means that even if someone you love makes the wrong choices or proceeds down a path you don't agree with, you're still waiting on the other side of the line if they want to come back. And it means forgiving, sometimes more than once.
Love is complicated. We are complicated. Together, it just makes a huge mess. But it's not so bad of a mess that nothing can be done. We ought to put effort into untangling life's little knots. We ought to remember and follow that golden rule "Treat others as you would be treated."
So I ask you again..
How will you choose to love?
What is love? I searched for some quotes and definitions, just to see how other people have defined it. Here are some of the best:
FROM KIDS
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." - Terri (age 4)
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." - Bobby (age 7)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend you hate." - Nikka (age 7)
“Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind — Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch.” - Natalie (age 9)
FROM ADULTS
"It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind." - love-sessions.com
"Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that." - teenadvice.com
"Real love demands sacrifice that can’t be found in self-centeredness. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving." - AllAboutGod.com
"Love is ecstasy and torment, freedom and slavery." - time.com
FROM THE DICTIONARY
"Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment." - Wikipedia
"A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." - Dictionary.com
"Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties." - Webster
------
I would say those are all fairly accurate. Fairly. Accurate. They each have a piece of what it is to love. But there is so much more.
The Bible classifies love into three categories:
i) Eros - Erotic love. Strong feelings toward something or someone.
"I love hotdogs." "I love my new girlfriend."
ii) Philos - Love based on relationship.
"I love my best friend because she's always there for me." "I love my husband."
iii) Agape - unconditional
"I'll love my child forever, no matter what." "My spouse loves me unconditionally enough to
forgive me for lying."
Put together, those three simple words wrap the idea of love into one, if not easily comprehendable idea, at least into understandable layman's terms.
There really isn't a "middle" to this post. It's all background until now, and we're jumping ahead to the question.
How will you choose to love?
If you want to, love people like you would hotdogs or your favorite hockey team, and see how it works for you. I'm sure that everyone realizes that love stemmed from attraction can be valuable in starting a relationship, but that's all it will do. A stronger relationship requires going deeper.
The difference between philio love and agape love, to me, is this: forgiveness. And plenty of it. You may appreciate your best friend more than any other person in the entire world, but I know plenty of people who have one or two good scraps with said best friend, and never talk again. It's like those scratch lotto tickets: Sorry, you're out of luck with this friend.. better try and get lucky on the next one.
No. Mankind is just that - mankind. We all make mistakes. We learn differently. We grow up with different values. We were made equally and deserve to be treated as such.
Loving unconditionally does not mean that you let people walk all over you. It does not mean that you have to even like everyone you meet, necessarily. It means that you will treat each person that crosses your path as a person, even if you don't agree on everything.
Two fairly recent examples in my life:
First one, we'll call the fellow Edward. I hung out with Edward and a few other guys quite often over the summer a couple of years ago, and we continued to hang out through the winter, etc. They all swore, and eventually I began to as well. I decided I didn't like that, and I was going to change it. The guys all promised they would make an effort to swear less around me, Edward included; but he had a hard time of it, partially because of his work environment where it was part and parcel of the day. So Edward and I had a talk. I told him plainly that I enjoyed his company and I valued his friendship, but I didn't like his habit of swearing so consistantly. I told him that if he continued, he would be seeing me less, as I didn't want to take part in that anymore nor hang around people who did. It took awhile and a great deal of effort, but I'm proud to say that Edward changed, as I changed.
Example two. Another friend of mine moved out after he got a job. Peter started smoking and drinking heavily. I didn't want that in my life. I told Peter that if he and I were to continue spending time together, he would have to be sober and smoke sparingly. Unfortunately, Peter became addicted to his habits. Communication between us slowed, and eventually stopped for a considerable amount of time. Just a few months ago, Peter started to clean himself up a little. My "rules" still stand. I don't see Peter very often, but we are talking again.
Unconditional love. It means you set boundaries, but boundaries don't mean permanent seclusion. It means that even if someone you love makes the wrong choices or proceeds down a path you don't agree with, you're still waiting on the other side of the line if they want to come back. And it means forgiving, sometimes more than once.
Love is complicated. We are complicated. Together, it just makes a huge mess. But it's not so bad of a mess that nothing can be done. We ought to put effort into untangling life's little knots. We ought to remember and follow that golden rule "Treat others as you would be treated."
So I ask you again..
How will you choose to love?
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Airbags - Life Following Impact
Earlier today I was filling out an online interview for an au pair website. The questions were fairly basic and required basic responses - "What would you specifically look for in a job?" "Why did you leave your last job?" "What kind of childcare experience do you have?" "What do you like to do?"
That is, until the last question. Enter the paradigm of intelligent thought. The question was, "What do you most want to get out of life?"
Big question.
My answer?
"I want adventure. I want experience. I want love, family, relationships, friends. I want wisdom. I want truth. I want influence. I want trust. I want to be one of those crazy old people who have been everywhere and done everything. I want to be someone worthy of being looked up to."
Big questions naturally require big answers.
Many years ago I read nearly the same question somewhere else. "What do you want to be remembered for?"
Some people want to be known for their money. Some for their music. Some for their teaching. Some for their athletic ability. Music. Art. Writing. Entertainment iconic status. Architecture. You name it.
We all want to be remembered for something, by somebody. My favorite book is Anne of Green Gables. Anne Shirley, the primary character, is slightly obsessed with epitaphs on gravestones - reading them and rewriting them if she's not satisfied. We don't do very many of those nowadays. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder - what would people write on my gravestone?
Even if I left the area and moved away, and didn't die - what would people remember about me? What do I WANT them to remember about me? I've been asking myself this question for over half my life, ever since whatever I was reading asked me that question. This is what I've decided.
I want to be remembered, mostly, as someone who could be trusted with anything, whether it was just the car keys, down to the truth about why you split from that guy or girl. I want to be remembered as someone anyone could talk to, someone who listened, someone who understood. An encourager. A person who was confident in myself, who didn't follow the crowd, who made my own choices. Someone who thought things out, who asked intelligent questions and received intelligent answers. I want people to go through the yearbooks, the phonebooks, the obituaries, find my name, and say, "Oh, hey, there's Ashleigh. I remember her. She was a good friend, and I always knew she'd be there for me. She was someone I respected, someone who knew who she was and was happy with that person."
I don't know if that'll be the way things will happen, but that's what I'm working towards. I've been learning as much as I can about how to be such a person, and something I've learned is that to get or be something, you have to give or do something.
In other words, to get money, you have to spend money. If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend. What comes around goes around, and you get what you give. So, for me, if I want to be known as someone who is trustworthy and understanding, I have to make an effort to prove to people that I can be trusted, that I know how to listen. Everything starts small. Someone tells me something, I don't repeat it. I practice that thing called active listening - eye contact (which I'm not always great at but that's why it's called practicing), no distractions, open posture, repetition and confirmation of what's been said.
I've been practicing for a long time, but I can tell you that nothing about a relationship between two people ever gets easier. The dynamics of the relationship may change, but the amount of effort required does not. Everything takes work.
So, how much work are you willing to put in? You may have thought about how and why you want to remembered. Sadly, many have not. Whether you have before or not, I want you to do it now. How will people remember you? If the image you're getting isn't the one you want, you have the power to change it. Start building your character today. Steer it in the direction you want it to.
Maybe, someday, you'll have an epitaph somewhere. You will definitely have an obituary. Grow your character in such a way that when people are walking through the graveyard, or reading the newspaper, they stop and say, "Wow. I wish I had known this person. The people who they had relationships must have been very lucky." Then God will smile in heaven and whisper, "You're right. They were."
That is, until the last question. Enter the paradigm of intelligent thought. The question was, "What do you most want to get out of life?"
Big question.
My answer?
"I want adventure. I want experience. I want love, family, relationships, friends. I want wisdom. I want truth. I want influence. I want trust. I want to be one of those crazy old people who have been everywhere and done everything. I want to be someone worthy of being looked up to."
Big questions naturally require big answers.
Many years ago I read nearly the same question somewhere else. "What do you want to be remembered for?"
Some people want to be known for their money. Some for their music. Some for their teaching. Some for their athletic ability. Music. Art. Writing. Entertainment iconic status. Architecture. You name it.
We all want to be remembered for something, by somebody. My favorite book is Anne of Green Gables. Anne Shirley, the primary character, is slightly obsessed with epitaphs on gravestones - reading them and rewriting them if she's not satisfied. We don't do very many of those nowadays. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder - what would people write on my gravestone?
Even if I left the area and moved away, and didn't die - what would people remember about me? What do I WANT them to remember about me? I've been asking myself this question for over half my life, ever since whatever I was reading asked me that question. This is what I've decided.
I want to be remembered, mostly, as someone who could be trusted with anything, whether it was just the car keys, down to the truth about why you split from that guy or girl. I want to be remembered as someone anyone could talk to, someone who listened, someone who understood. An encourager. A person who was confident in myself, who didn't follow the crowd, who made my own choices. Someone who thought things out, who asked intelligent questions and received intelligent answers. I want people to go through the yearbooks, the phonebooks, the obituaries, find my name, and say, "Oh, hey, there's Ashleigh. I remember her. She was a good friend, and I always knew she'd be there for me. She was someone I respected, someone who knew who she was and was happy with that person."
I don't know if that'll be the way things will happen, but that's what I'm working towards. I've been learning as much as I can about how to be such a person, and something I've learned is that to get or be something, you have to give or do something.
In other words, to get money, you have to spend money. If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend. What comes around goes around, and you get what you give. So, for me, if I want to be known as someone who is trustworthy and understanding, I have to make an effort to prove to people that I can be trusted, that I know how to listen. Everything starts small. Someone tells me something, I don't repeat it. I practice that thing called active listening - eye contact (which I'm not always great at but that's why it's called practicing), no distractions, open posture, repetition and confirmation of what's been said.
I've been practicing for a long time, but I can tell you that nothing about a relationship between two people ever gets easier. The dynamics of the relationship may change, but the amount of effort required does not. Everything takes work.
So, how much work are you willing to put in? You may have thought about how and why you want to remembered. Sadly, many have not. Whether you have before or not, I want you to do it now. How will people remember you? If the image you're getting isn't the one you want, you have the power to change it. Start building your character today. Steer it in the direction you want it to.
Maybe, someday, you'll have an epitaph somewhere. You will definitely have an obituary. Grow your character in such a way that when people are walking through the graveyard, or reading the newspaper, they stop and say, "Wow. I wish I had known this person. The people who they had relationships must have been very lucky." Then God will smile in heaven and whisper, "You're right. They were."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
My Life Is Not Ending
Every year for the past nine, I've aided my dear mother in cooking for a highschool three day camp out at a local Bible camp. We prepare meals and snacks for between 100-150 people, including students, teachers, band members, whoever shows. Because the school goes every year, alumni often show up to visit old friends and teachers (I am an alumni as well, for two years).
So this past Wednesday I'm up at the camp, cooking away, and as usual, some alumni show up, my friend Julian* in particular. Julian had been at university at the other end of Canada, in the east, for the past year. I hadn't seen him much in the summer, but I missed him quite a bit recently. So I'm talking to him, and he says he's leaving the following day. What I understood was that he was flying to Asia, the next day, for up to five years, the reason being school.
Now, I had been on my feet helping prep food all day - about 15 or 16 hours - on only five hours' sleep. I was already exhausted. This news just broke me.. especially since I was just finding out the day before he left. I ended up in tears.. which really confused him.
Thankfully, I was wrong, as he mindfully explained. He was leaving the next day, but to go back to university in the east. And he was going to Asia, but it was WITH school (not FOR it), and he'd only be gone three months. He promised he'd be back to visit in January. This was awesome for me and helped a lot, but by that point I was already emotional (yay tiredness!)
Less than an hour later I find out from another friend and volunteer that a guy I love and respect, and basically look up to as an elder brother - has a job interview in Vancouver on Friday (remember, this was Thursday night), and may be moving soon. Bang - tears come again.
THENNNN I was talking to my best friend, who happens to be in her second year of nursing school, and her husband's in his second year of a Bachelor of science, to become a doctor. She tells me that she and Andrew* will most likely be moving to a remote area in Africa for two years after he finishes his medical degree, because there's a program that if you do that and use your training to help underpriviledged people, all outstanding student loans will be forgiven. Bam. Tearjerker number three. (Remember that I was very overtired and emotional, and give me a break.)
So after most everyone had gone to bed and the teachers were doing a last walk to check for straggling students, I sat in the camp kitchen and had a good cry. All my friends were talking about university, moving, careers... and pretty much all of it involved moving away. I felt very left out (I have no desire to move away, and I'm not sure what I want to go to school for yet..).. and I also felt very alone - which caused to post as my status on Facebook:
"I think I might go back to a life without friends... it doesn't hurt as much then."
Obviously, I got some backlash from that from.. you guessed it.. my friends. Including a very sweet and understanding text message from a friend in Alberta, which read:
"Not too much, I just saw a rather depressing facebook status on your page and wanted to see what's up and if you needed help with anything?"
I didn't receive any of this until the next day, as I had posted pretty late. But as I took my very depressed self outside for a walk around the camp, I saw the school youth pastor, who I've known for nearly half my life. So I talked to him a bit, and told him how basically everyone was leaving but I love my hometown and don't want to go anywhere, ever.. but it looked like I wouldn't have anyone left. And he said, "You find new people."
Simple, just that. Find new people. At first, my reaction was that I have great friends, I didn't need or want anyone new. But I thought about it as I made my way back in to the kitchen, and I realized that all my life, I"ve been finding new people. Life doesn't end when friends leave. Especially with technology.. phone, internet, texting.. it's not like I can't ever talk to them again. Yes, it hurts when someone close to you moves away, even for a short amount of time (such as university).. but I'm realizing that it's not the end of the world. I've actually done this before, and sometimes I don't talk to that person as much, but we're still friends. And we always will be. My life isn't over, and as the pastor said, I will find new people. Because life is all about progress and change. We learn from the past in order to forge through the future.
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”
I'm learning that life has seasons. We don't have to let go of what we've learned and who we've loved, but we do have to let go of the past, because what was can no longer be. We've all changed, done things, been things, that we never have before, nor ever will be again. My life has not ended because of it. I've only grown stronger - and I've still got all my best friends by my side. I am not alone.
* Names have been changed.
So this past Wednesday I'm up at the camp, cooking away, and as usual, some alumni show up, my friend Julian* in particular. Julian had been at university at the other end of Canada, in the east, for the past year. I hadn't seen him much in the summer, but I missed him quite a bit recently. So I'm talking to him, and he says he's leaving the following day. What I understood was that he was flying to Asia, the next day, for up to five years, the reason being school.
Now, I had been on my feet helping prep food all day - about 15 or 16 hours - on only five hours' sleep. I was already exhausted. This news just broke me.. especially since I was just finding out the day before he left. I ended up in tears.. which really confused him.
Thankfully, I was wrong, as he mindfully explained. He was leaving the next day, but to go back to university in the east. And he was going to Asia, but it was WITH school (not FOR it), and he'd only be gone three months. He promised he'd be back to visit in January. This was awesome for me and helped a lot, but by that point I was already emotional (yay tiredness!)
Less than an hour later I find out from another friend and volunteer that a guy I love and respect, and basically look up to as an elder brother - has a job interview in Vancouver on Friday (remember, this was Thursday night), and may be moving soon. Bang - tears come again.
THENNNN I was talking to my best friend, who happens to be in her second year of nursing school, and her husband's in his second year of a Bachelor of science, to become a doctor. She tells me that she and Andrew* will most likely be moving to a remote area in Africa for two years after he finishes his medical degree, because there's a program that if you do that and use your training to help underpriviledged people, all outstanding student loans will be forgiven. Bam. Tearjerker number three. (Remember that I was very overtired and emotional, and give me a break.)
So after most everyone had gone to bed and the teachers were doing a last walk to check for straggling students, I sat in the camp kitchen and had a good cry. All my friends were talking about university, moving, careers... and pretty much all of it involved moving away. I felt very left out (I have no desire to move away, and I'm not sure what I want to go to school for yet..).. and I also felt very alone - which caused to post as my status on Facebook:
"I think I might go back to a life without friends... it doesn't hurt as much then."
Obviously, I got some backlash from that from.. you guessed it.. my friends. Including a very sweet and understanding text message from a friend in Alberta, which read:
"Not too much, I just saw a rather depressing facebook status on your page and wanted to see what's up and if you needed help with anything?"
I didn't receive any of this until the next day, as I had posted pretty late. But as I took my very depressed self outside for a walk around the camp, I saw the school youth pastor, who I've known for nearly half my life. So I talked to him a bit, and told him how basically everyone was leaving but I love my hometown and don't want to go anywhere, ever.. but it looked like I wouldn't have anyone left. And he said, "You find new people."
Simple, just that. Find new people. At first, my reaction was that I have great friends, I didn't need or want anyone new. But I thought about it as I made my way back in to the kitchen, and I realized that all my life, I"ve been finding new people. Life doesn't end when friends leave. Especially with technology.. phone, internet, texting.. it's not like I can't ever talk to them again. Yes, it hurts when someone close to you moves away, even for a short amount of time (such as university).. but I'm realizing that it's not the end of the world. I've actually done this before, and sometimes I don't talk to that person as much, but we're still friends. And we always will be. My life isn't over, and as the pastor said, I will find new people. Because life is all about progress and change. We learn from the past in order to forge through the future.
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”
I'm learning that life has seasons. We don't have to let go of what we've learned and who we've loved, but we do have to let go of the past, because what was can no longer be. We've all changed, done things, been things, that we never have before, nor ever will be again. My life has not ended because of it. I've only grown stronger - and I've still got all my best friends by my side. I am not alone.
* Names have been changed.
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