I had a few ideas for what I was going to write today - at least, until a few minutes ago. Then I remembered that is Thanksgiving weekend, and it passed through my head that people usually write about something Thanksgiving-related on Thanksgiving. I was deciding whether I should go along with that tradition, but when I revisited the shelf in my brain where I keep my blog ideas, it seems that the Thanksgiving one has crowded everything else out and I simply can't remember any of the others at the moment. Which is kind of weird, and kind of amusing - but I guess I don't have a choice now but to blog about Thanksgiving. However, I'm okay with that.. it's a holiday worth taking note of.
Anyways, here's what I was thinking about Thanksgiving:
Somestimes, it's really a difficult thing to give thanks. Once in a while, we just feel like nothing's going our way and there really isn't anything that we can be thankful for. The usual options - family, friends, food, a home, our pets - just aren't there, aren't working for us. If this is the way you feel, you're not alone...
I've felt like that. You've felt like that. Everyone has those days, months, periods of our lives. It can be hard, especially at a time like Thanksgiving, when the inevitable question eventually pops up - "What are you thankful for?" and you have nothing to say in reply.
A lot of times people are rubbing it in your face, too.. intentionally or not. Common phrase: "If you've got clothes, a roof over your head, and food to eat, you're in the richest two percent of the world," or something along those lines. A friend comes over and says how lucky you are to have that dinner with your family every year; she misses her parents so much this time of year. There's so much turkey talk that you feel birded out and you wish the things would die and we'd all eat pizza.
Yes. I've experienced all of this.
But! That doesn't mean necessarily mean we're rotten, hopeless, or guilty of ingratitude. Of course, it CAN mean those things - but we'll assume for both our sakes that when you or I feel this way, we're just traversing a bit of a rough patch of road in our life. That, in turn, means good news - rough patches never last forever.
Personally, I've found when I'm depressed or stressed and finding it hard to be thankful for much, it helps to look for something I appreciate.
Yes, there is a difference. Check it out.
thank·ful
adj.
1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.
ap·pre·ci·a·tion
n.
1. Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things
See, the way I look at things is this.
You may not be able to feel gratitude for something or someone, even if you can for other things. (Ex. You're thankful for your dog, but right now you're estranged from your brother who is involved in a gang and it's feeling really hard to be thankful for him.)
Or, which usually happens in my case, you're just down and find it hard to appreciate anything... you just don't care, or worse, you'd really rather not have it anyway (for me, that's turkey, every year.. I really don't care for it much!)
Even though I may find it hard to be thankful, it is never hard to recognize the value or significance of something. Even if I hate my family this year (which I don't, but), I can still point out why they're significant to me and to others, even if I don't feel it.
I may not care that I have a house or clothes when I'm hurting, but it would take a simpleton to be unable to point out the importance of such things.
In my experience, cultivating an appreciation for things and people is often easier than being outright thankful for them, if you're having a hard time with it. The good news is being thankful gets easier as well! No matter what you're dealing with, if you continually point out why something is valuable, how it can be used, why someone is worth having around, what you appreciate about a person, you're bound to feel more and more of the worth of the person or item you are describing.
So if you're feeling the effects of the Thanksgiving blues, don't despair. Walk outside and start small - notice the fall leaves on the ground. Even if you think they're the ugliest things on the planet, all wet and rotten, make notice of the fact that they are integral to the land as decomposing fertilizer, and habitat for small animals who use them to line burrows, etc. Just take whatever you know, pick out the positives, and make a list. Sooner or later, you'll find you appreciate those leaves much more than you used to. Maybe go bigger on your next walk. Notice the neighbourhood kids who use the leaves to jump around in, or rake up for a bit of extra cash. See how we're tacking on the levels of importance? Maybe, eventually, if you keep at it, you'll value those leaves as much as you value your children, your parents, your vehicle..
Or maybe not. Just kidding ;)
That's my Thanksgiving challenge to you this season. If you're experiencing difficulty in your thankful attitude, start small and get bigger. If you're not, maybe recommend this strategy to someone else you know is having a hard time of it right now.
Regardless of where you are in your life and what you have or don't, make sure you find at least one thing that you are definitely appreciative of. Thankfulness is a community thing - as soon as you're thankful for something, it inspires it in someone else.. it's a domino effect. And legitimate appreciation for things, services, and other people helps everyone to feel valued and reminds us that we all have worth.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
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