Have you ever seen the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium? If not, I highly recommend it. I won't tell you any more than the trailer would, but the show is about a magical toystore and how it changes several people's lives. It's a wonderful movie with a lot of valuable lessons. Personally, it's my favorite after Cinderella.
Anyway. At one point in this movie, two of the principal characters are discussing the store. Molly Mahoney is the general manager of the toy store, and Henry Weston is an accountant that has been hired to determine the worth of said store. They have several discussions during the film, usually on some level of an argument because Mahoney sees the store for what it is - magical. Henry Weston, being a logically minded person, simply sees a toystore and a mountain of paperwork for himself in order to complete the job he's been hired for. There is one conversation, however, that strikes me every time I watch the show (yes, that's been quite a few times now), and that I'm sure I will never forget. Weston is seated on a bench just in front of the store when he and Mahoney get in to it once again:
Molly Mahoney: I knew it. As soon as I saw that suit.
Henry Weston: Knew what?
Molly Mahoney: You're a 'just' guy.
Henry Weston: What's a 'just' guy?
Molly Mahoney: A guy just like you. Same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. It's just what it is, nothing more!
Henry Weston: Alright but, but this
[looks over his shoulder]
Henry Weston: is just a store.
Molly Mahoney: I'm sure to you... it is.
What Mahoney sees, but Weston has failed to recognize, is that the Wonder Emporium is much more than 'just' a store... magical or not, it has more value than being simply a place in which to sell toys to eager children.
I was in a similar situation earlier today. A friend and I were conversing about a girl he wants to get to know, but how circumstances aren't helping and he's finding it difficult. He used the same phrase to express his disappointment, as a way to try to dismiss it as unimportant and therefore not worth his frustration - "She's just a girl."
Of course, that may be true if that's how you choose to look at it. We're all 'just' people - if you take away everything about us that makes us people. I countered him quickly, saying "Nobody is ever 'just' anything..." and went on to explain that like he was not 'just' a guy - he has dreams, a future, love to give - that girl isn't 'just' any girl; she's a girl he wants to become friends with and that makes that girl much more important than 'just' being anyone.
The word just can be used, obviously, in many different ways. It's a great word... it can mean something is fair and within reason, as in a just punishment, it can mean by a very small margin, as in you just missed it... but I'm of the opinion that the usage of that particular word in describing things or people should VERY CAREFULLY be done.
You can say the night is just too dark to see outside. You can say your shoes are just too small... for you. But to say that the shoes are just too small.. period.. well, it of course makes sense to you because they no longer fit your feet. However, they aren't too small for someone else, are they? In the same way, my buddy saying that she's "just a girl" allows him to undermine both her importance as a person, but also to undermine his desire to attain her friendship. By her just being another girl, she's equal to every other girl and her sought out friendship could easily be replaced with another girl's... but it JUST doesn't work that way! Sure, another girl could be his friend. Any number of girls could, actually. That does not make up for, in any way, not having the friendship of this particular girl that he wants to be friends with... she is not just anything. She is a girl, with a name, with a history, with a future - she's a girl, unlike any other girl, whose friendship will be unique.
Saying that something is 'just' what it is, as Henry Weston does about the Emporium, grandly reduces its capacity to be anything but that. By saying it's just a toy store, Weston doesn't even allow for the possibility of it being a place of joy, of learning and discovery, of building new friendships - let alone it being magical. Saying that the boy sitting on the football bench watching the game is 'just a wee bit too small' to play immediately limits him... there's no room for him to grow, literally or metaphorically. That same boy, hearing those words, may never believe he'll be big enough to play football with his buddies. Even if he grows to six feet and 200 pounds and could be the best linebacker in his high school's history, he might just remembering overhearing those words, and never believe in himself or give himself the opportunity to try.. he might say to himself, "I'm too small.. I probably won't be able to throw the ball far enough, or run fast enough.. they're right. I'll just be no good."
It happens all the time.. as a POD lyric says - "The same situations - just different faces." You're just this.. just that.. just not adept enough.. just a little too slow. You're just what you are, it's just what it is, and there's no possible way you or it can get any better.
Isn't that ridiculous?!? We need to make a cooperative effort to stop this vicious cycle of justing each other. Flip it all together... every time you hear someone about to say "She's just.." jump in there with every single positive idea you can get together in thirty seconds. "... Gorgeous, talented, got a great attitude, strong.."
Make that effort to refrain from placing limits.
Break the cycle.
Because you aren't just what people say you are, and neither is anyone or anything else.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure... build up the treasures. Don't look at what it is. Imagine what it could become. Everything has more value to it than what first meets the eye. People especially, have inestimable value, if only you look for it.
No limits - only encouragement. Let's JUST focus on that.
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