Conflict Resolution.

Conflict.


con·flict   /v. kənˈflɪkt; n. ˈkɒnflɪkt/



[v. kuhn-flikt; n. kon-flikt]


–verb (used without object)


1. to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash



2. to fight or contend; do battle.
 
Conflict.
 
It drives us.  It hurts us.  It builds us.  It destroys us.  It teaches us.  It breaks us.  It makes us. 
Without conflict, our skin remains pasty and weak; the muscles of the brain are decrepit from want of use.  Skills vital to continued and successful life are passed by; we learn not the importance of teamwork, problem solving, conflict resolution.

Conflict.  Resolution.

Resolution.

res·o·lu·tion   /ˌrɛzəˈluʃən/


[rez-uh-loo-shuhn]
–noun

1. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.


2. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

3. a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.
 
Resolution.
 
It heals us.  It strengthens us.  It reconciles us. 
Conflict and resolution are linked - but conflict brings what resolution is not capable of - negativity.
 
I had my own opportunity to practice my skills at conflict resolution this week.  A friend of mine texted me about my birthday and said some things about my idea I didn't appreciate.  So I facebooked back with this message (word for word, nothing edited):
 
Hey.
I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling angry about the way you spoke to me over texting earlier today. I don't understand what made you do so, but I don't think it was necessary and I feel very disrespected, and I don't feel I did anything to deserve being treated like that.
Perhaps we had a misunderstanding. Could you explain to me what you were thinking?
 
Friend turned around and emailed me back with an apology and an explanation:
 
I'm sorry. I just think its kinda dumb inviting people like my dad and all the people on cheer. Those are my thoughts though. I dont really want to go if tons of people are going to.
 
I replied and explained why I made the plans I did, and invited so many people.  To cut a long email short, I gave him three basic reasons.
 
1) I chose to go skiing because I love the outdoors, and because I don't care much for regular parties or dinner outings as forms of celebrating.
2) An open invite was a good way to ensure I didn't miss any of my friends, and gave them equal opportunity to see me, or to request a different time to get together.
3) An open invite also allows people who know me, but don't know many other people who may be there, to bring a friend if they should so choose.  As well, by going skiing (where people naturally  break up into smaller groups on trail), the situation is less awkward and stressful and more inviting for new aquaintances, and possibly friendships, to start. 
 
He replied with a very simple and adequate, "I understand :D."
 
Yes.  Point for conflict resolution.  Which, in a word, is communication.
 
Communication.
 
com·mu·ni·ca·tion   /kəˌmyunɪˈkeɪʃən/
[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuhn]
–noun


1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.


2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.


3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted
 
The only way to solve a problem is to communicate - to share thoughts, opinions, and information.  To know what others are thinking, and feeling, and why.  To let them know what you're thinking, and feeling, and why.
As I quoted to another friend this evening, "Understanding breeds empathy."  And a resolved conflict.  Or, at the very least, it starts you on the road to resolution.
 
So practice up.