My mother says my eyes sparkle when I'm happy. She also says it's easy to tell when I'm not happy because the sparkle is gone. I don't know if that's true or if it's just her perspective, but I suspect it is because other people have made similar comments.
For instance, one time in Bible School last year, I walked into class tired and grumpy. I didn't really do anything different, I just said good morning to everyone (with a little less enthusiam than normally), and sat down to listen to my iPod. It wasn't that I never did that... just not often, but it wasn't super abnormal. At least not to me. However, to the two boys in the back row, something wasn't aright. The younger one looked at me and said, "What's wrong?" I, of course, said, "Nothing." He came right back with, "Something's up. You're not happy. Where's your joy?"
That hit me hard. It wasn't just a 'where's your God-given good attitude' kind of question.. he was wondering what happened to dampen me, to out my light, as it were. It hit me because there wasn't really a reason.. I was just all harumphed. [Please, don't try to figure that out. There isn't a good explanation.]
I realized that there was a significant lack of reasons for being in the attitude I was in... my classmate showed me, in the span of one sentence, that attitude is everything and that I have control over it. The question to me wasn't so much about where the joy was - I knew it still resided within me. It was more about why I was choosing not to show it and to let my bad, but largely unbased, mood rule my morning.
It didn't seem natural that people should so easily read me. However, as I've learned to pay more attention, I'm finding it's not nearly as weird... or as hard... as it would at first seem. One of my best friends is a good example.. and don't be creeped out, I don't stalk him. I just spend a lot of time with him. :) Anyways, when said friend is happy, the skin on his face shines with an almost pinkish glow, and his eyes are clear. However, when angry, it's as if someone took some smoke, or something similar, and rubbed it in (if that was possible).. you may have heard the expression "clouded over"? Well, I've seen it live. His face clouds over. The skin gets pale and darker, and looks almost pasty, similar to the consistancy of cookie dough. His eyes dull and get a red tinge as if he was tired. It's crazy. I can always tell when he's in less than a good mood by his face... even if I don't know exactly why. I suppose it's similar with my own person.
It used to bother me - a lot - that people could read my moods so easily. It's hard to fake being happy when you're upset, or vice versa, or whatever you want, really, when people can tell how you're feeling by your body or the way you carry yourself.
However, ever since I started my job, I've realized that this is not something to be annoyed by. Better than that, my mood, and however my body chooses to communicate it - whether by starry eyes or uplifted step - is a tool. It's a tool to teach and encourage others to be happier themselves.
You see, if people can tell that I'm happy, natural law says they should in turn be happier, even if it's only a little. Think about it. If you see someone laughing and enjoying themselves, you smile a little more inside, even if you're having a horrible day. Because joy creates joy, and it's natural to feel a little better when you see someone else having a great time.
So, whatever if my eyes sparkle. If that proves that I'm happy, bring it on. They'd better be sparkling, because if they aren't, I'm not having a good time and enjoying my life. And I don't want that. I'd rather be happy, eyes sparkling or not, I don't care. But since they apparently do, I'll embrace it. And I'll sparkle my way into others' hearts and lives, throwing out sparkly eye pixie dust and hopefully making their eyes a little more sparkly too.
What about you? What would you rather communicate with your body? It's not hard to tell whether most people are happy or not... what do you want them to see? More importantly, what do you want to feel?
Think about it. Do you sparkle?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Hearts of Glass
Today I finished the book The Betrayal by Beverly Lewis. It is the second in a five part series about an Amish family with five daughters and the trials they go through from the point of the eldest's Rumschpringe (or the period from the sixteenth birthday until a young adult chooses to formally be baptised into the church or to leave the community and is a 'running around' period meant to allow Amish young adults to experience a bit more of the world and to find a suitable marriage partner within the faith) and continues throughout the next few years with excerpts from each daughter's point of view.
The books are good, easy reads that give you a fairly decent picture of traditional Old Order Amish lifestyle, and I own several of Lewis' works. The Betrayal mostly tells the story of the second oldest daughter of the family, Leah, and her beau, Jonas. At the beginning of the book, they are madly in love and participating in the traditional routines of Amish courtship practices, which include going to barn singings with other young folks, and horse and buggy rides late into the night. Over the course of the book, Jonas gets offered a wonderful opportunity to master a trade in another church district, in another state altogether, and ends up taking it. Meanwhile, another youth at home, Gideon, is the young man chosen to marry Leah by her father.. but everyone knows Leah loves Jonas and Gid refuses to destroy it.
Gid gives Leah a German Shepherd puppy, and one day some months later she gets lost in the wood behind her home, and together, Gid and the dog King end up rescuing her and bringing her back. Leah's older sister Sadie espies them holding hands on the way home, but doesn't ask for an explanation and begins to jump to conclusions. Near the end of the book, Sadie moves out to Ohio where Jonas is working for a change of scenery, and through a myriad of misinterpretations, destroyed or discarded letters, and hastily made phone calls, Leah and Jonas both end up believing that they've been cheated on weeks before their planned wedding - Leah with Gideon, and Jonas with Sadie. The wedding is called off, for reasons that had they spoken directly, would've been easily and swiftly dealt with. However, because of the patched together information from other sources and the strict rules of the Amish church regarding courtship before marriage, neither Leah nor Jonas know the truth until it's too late.
I can't tell you what happens beyond that, because I only have the first and second books. (I will be visiting the library shortly!) But reading that today, it kind of struck me in a new way how fragile relationships are.
Think of the person you would consider your best, or at least a very dear, friend. Someone you know inside and out, sometimes better than yourself. Now think of someone you met in the past week. You have relationships with both these people... but they're obviously not the same. What's the difference? The answer should be jumping out at you right now - time. You've spent time with one and not the other.
It takes hours, days, weeks, years.. you get the point.. to build a solid relationship. Those hours can't just be idle chatter all the time, either... they must be at times be spent in earnest discussion, at times in laughter, at times in tears, at times in silence.
However, despite all those hours invested, it can take but one wrongly worded statement, but one lie, but one bit of gossip to destroy in one fell swoop every iota of trust that exists.. er, existed.
And once gone, it is possibly gone forever - and you're gonna have to work hard if you want it back.
I think, though, that the most powerful relationship repairing tools are the words, "I'm sorry," and "I forgive you,", of course, provided that they're meant sincerely and one makes an effort to remedy and not repeat one's mistake.
Recognizing and taking responsibility of one's erronous ways and mistakes goes far in repairing a hurt relationship, but sometimes it takes more than just words of apology. Sometimes it takes actions. And sometimes, it takes time. Sometimes, there is nothing one can do except offer their most sincere apology and walk away knowing one did one's best.
After reading that book, and knowing things from all perspectives, it was very frustrating to see the characters struggle in the ways they did because they chose to obey the laws of communicating only by written word, even when important letters (which were tampered with by other people) never seemed to arrive or be delivered, or even worse, were never written because of one three reasons: i) they were afraid to write, b) they assumed things, or c) they listened to others who themselves had only partial pieces of the puzzle.
Which made me think about how much I'd stake to save a relationship I cared about when it was on rocky ground. Would I rely on what others said about people involved and what they saw or heard? I think I would be interested, but they're subject to their own opinions and biases too. I've learned too that jumping to conclusions and assuming things is never the route to travel either..
I once had a friend text me and say how he felt betrayed by some people he knew and didn't feel like he could associate with them anymore. I encouraged him to aquiesce to their request to talk, however, and I told him exactly this: that as long as he didn't talk to them, any answers to the questions he had were merely guesses. He may have guessed correctly, but there was also the possibility that he had not. I told him that simply for his own eventual peace of mind, he should go speak to them, instead of making assumptions.
He did speak to them. Most of his guesses were correct. However, some apologies were given and issues dealt with, and they are still close friends today... even after a deep hurt. Because the words "I'm sorry," and "Will you forgive me?" came into play, and because he overcame his anger and pain enough to at least hear their side.
So what will you do? We all have been and will be hurt by someone we love. What are you willing to put at stake - your relationship, or your pride? What's more worth saving?
The books are good, easy reads that give you a fairly decent picture of traditional Old Order Amish lifestyle, and I own several of Lewis' works. The Betrayal mostly tells the story of the second oldest daughter of the family, Leah, and her beau, Jonas. At the beginning of the book, they are madly in love and participating in the traditional routines of Amish courtship practices, which include going to barn singings with other young folks, and horse and buggy rides late into the night. Over the course of the book, Jonas gets offered a wonderful opportunity to master a trade in another church district, in another state altogether, and ends up taking it. Meanwhile, another youth at home, Gideon, is the young man chosen to marry Leah by her father.. but everyone knows Leah loves Jonas and Gid refuses to destroy it.
Gid gives Leah a German Shepherd puppy, and one day some months later she gets lost in the wood behind her home, and together, Gid and the dog King end up rescuing her and bringing her back. Leah's older sister Sadie espies them holding hands on the way home, but doesn't ask for an explanation and begins to jump to conclusions. Near the end of the book, Sadie moves out to Ohio where Jonas is working for a change of scenery, and through a myriad of misinterpretations, destroyed or discarded letters, and hastily made phone calls, Leah and Jonas both end up believing that they've been cheated on weeks before their planned wedding - Leah with Gideon, and Jonas with Sadie. The wedding is called off, for reasons that had they spoken directly, would've been easily and swiftly dealt with. However, because of the patched together information from other sources and the strict rules of the Amish church regarding courtship before marriage, neither Leah nor Jonas know the truth until it's too late.
I can't tell you what happens beyond that, because I only have the first and second books. (I will be visiting the library shortly!) But reading that today, it kind of struck me in a new way how fragile relationships are.
Think of the person you would consider your best, or at least a very dear, friend. Someone you know inside and out, sometimes better than yourself. Now think of someone you met in the past week. You have relationships with both these people... but they're obviously not the same. What's the difference? The answer should be jumping out at you right now - time. You've spent time with one and not the other.
It takes hours, days, weeks, years.. you get the point.. to build a solid relationship. Those hours can't just be idle chatter all the time, either... they must be at times be spent in earnest discussion, at times in laughter, at times in tears, at times in silence.
However, despite all those hours invested, it can take but one wrongly worded statement, but one lie, but one bit of gossip to destroy in one fell swoop every iota of trust that exists.. er, existed.
And once gone, it is possibly gone forever - and you're gonna have to work hard if you want it back.
I think, though, that the most powerful relationship repairing tools are the words, "I'm sorry," and "I forgive you,", of course, provided that they're meant sincerely and one makes an effort to remedy and not repeat one's mistake.
Recognizing and taking responsibility of one's erronous ways and mistakes goes far in repairing a hurt relationship, but sometimes it takes more than just words of apology. Sometimes it takes actions. And sometimes, it takes time. Sometimes, there is nothing one can do except offer their most sincere apology and walk away knowing one did one's best.
After reading that book, and knowing things from all perspectives, it was very frustrating to see the characters struggle in the ways they did because they chose to obey the laws of communicating only by written word, even when important letters (which were tampered with by other people) never seemed to arrive or be delivered, or even worse, were never written because of one three reasons: i) they were afraid to write, b) they assumed things, or c) they listened to others who themselves had only partial pieces of the puzzle.
Which made me think about how much I'd stake to save a relationship I cared about when it was on rocky ground. Would I rely on what others said about people involved and what they saw or heard? I think I would be interested, but they're subject to their own opinions and biases too. I've learned too that jumping to conclusions and assuming things is never the route to travel either..
I once had a friend text me and say how he felt betrayed by some people he knew and didn't feel like he could associate with them anymore. I encouraged him to aquiesce to their request to talk, however, and I told him exactly this: that as long as he didn't talk to them, any answers to the questions he had were merely guesses. He may have guessed correctly, but there was also the possibility that he had not. I told him that simply for his own eventual peace of mind, he should go speak to them, instead of making assumptions.
He did speak to them. Most of his guesses were correct. However, some apologies were given and issues dealt with, and they are still close friends today... even after a deep hurt. Because the words "I'm sorry," and "Will you forgive me?" came into play, and because he overcame his anger and pain enough to at least hear their side.
So what will you do? We all have been and will be hurt by someone we love. What are you willing to put at stake - your relationship, or your pride? What's more worth saving?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wasted Time
Today is Remembrance Day here in Canada (in case any readers aren't Canadian). It is a day when we remember fallen soldiers from any war in the last 100 years, or in other words WWI and on. Sometimes we make special mention of fallen police, fire, and other emergency personnel as well, and also men and women who gave their lives during battles before WWI that were integral in securing the country we so dearly know and love as today's Canada.
In note of that, I would like to make mention of and thank every person who has or is involved in the Canadian armed forces, both at home and abroad, for donating their resources and risking their lives in order to keep Canada free. You are greatly appreciated and respected nationwide.
It being Remembrance Day, and myself working at a university cafeteria, and the holiday being so close to the weekend, the store was unusually dead today. All the university midterm exams finished yesterday, and the student body was basically nonexistant - everyone took a four day weekend. I hardly saw ten people the whole time I was there.
Because it was so dead, everyone (especially me, because I don't do any cooking) had next to nothing to do. Around 9:30, my boss came into my area and said that sales were much lower than expected (even for the holidays), they didn't need to keep nearly as many people around and I could go home after three hours. I normally do six per day, with a half hour lunch. So today, I went home, after three hours, excited because I could now watch the Remembrance Day ceremonies on television (I was too late to attend an actual service as I usually do). Around 2pm, my boss called me at home and said that they expected the same tomorrow, and because they only needed one dishwasher, for a few hours, to keep up with the demand, my shift was cancelled. They chose the night guy to get the hours for tomorrow on account of senority, as he's been working three weeks longer than I have.
I was excited about today and neutral on tomorrow, but I conceded it would be nice to have such a long weekend. I posted about it on Facebook, just because I was excited about not having to get up tomorrow and such.
My friend commented and was like, "Why would you want your shift to be cancelled? If it was me, I'd be furious."
Which made me think about, again, how much time people waste being angry or disappointed over things that can't be changed. Like, actually. cannot. be. changed. No matter what you do or try to do.
Things like today, and tomorrow. I might've been able to stay a bit longer today, but with nothing to do. Plus, he said to go. So whatever. Tomorrow though.. well, boss is boss. He says no, I don't go.
And like my friend said, I could be furious. A lot of people would be. But I'm not. I can't do anything about it. The way I see it, he's right. The other dishwasher has more senority. Plus, the other dishwasher also has a child he's supporting and needs the hours much more than I do. Plus, I now have time to do things tomorrow that might not otherwise get done in a busy weekend. Plus, I don't have to wake up at 6 if I don't want to. It really depends on how you look at things.
To me, being angry at something I can't change is wasting energy that could more wisely and prudently be invested into something else, something which would see a result. For instance, I had two conversations within the last forty eight hours that, in my opinion, justify anger.
One, my mom's friend's daughter, approximately 15 years old, recently asked her mother to purchase some things that were simply outside of the limits of the mother's budget. The mother, trying to exercise prudence with her funds, said no.. to which the daughter replied that her mother should buy her said things because, as the parent, it is her responsibility to keep the daughter happy. (Should mention that daughter has a job and is capable of saving for wanted things). To me, the mother's resulting anger at her daughter's lack of respect and disregard of their financial situation is justifiable. It is a situation which could be changed, depending on the way mother chooses to answer her daughter, and what she teaches her about money and wise spending and saving, and respecting her mother's decisions and efforts.
Second situation involved a friend who was helping her boyfriend out temporarily with funds, but felt that she was giving him too much, and wanted to retain more for herself and her own expenses. As often happens with couples when talking about major issues, they disagreed and she was angry that he wanted so much.. but they talked about it and settled it suitably for both.
I don't think either of the subjects in those stories wasted their time being angry, because both situations were legitimate and things needed to and could be changed. Nor do I think being angry about cancelled shifts would be pointless if they were routinely being cancelled.. however, one shift, to me, is not worth it. I'm not losing the job and I know that this is just because of a holiday.
Similar situations I've run into include being angry over the weather, that one fell in the mud.. you know what I mean. Things that seem insurmountable like taxes and laws aren't always.. stand up for what you want, be angry, vote on it, write letters.
I hope this makes sense to you.. it's one of those things where it changes with every situation. But there are a lot of people who spend thousands of minutes upset over things they can do nothing about and that can't be changed.. minutes they'll never get back.
If you hypothetically had one million minutes in your life, and would die the second the last minute was up, how much of that would you want to spend mad, upset, or disappointed that you didn't have to? There's such a thing as righteous anger, but I would say that most of the time, anger isn't worth it.
Think about it when you find yourself getting angry. "I only have this minute of this day of this year once. I'll never have it again.. do I want to spend it joyful and appreciate the life I have, or angry and clouded because I refuse to see the good side of things?" Practice changing your perspective, and then do it as often as you can.. you'll find life gets lots more enjoyable.
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
~Mary Engelbreit
In note of that, I would like to make mention of and thank every person who has or is involved in the Canadian armed forces, both at home and abroad, for donating their resources and risking their lives in order to keep Canada free. You are greatly appreciated and respected nationwide.
It being Remembrance Day, and myself working at a university cafeteria, and the holiday being so close to the weekend, the store was unusually dead today. All the university midterm exams finished yesterday, and the student body was basically nonexistant - everyone took a four day weekend. I hardly saw ten people the whole time I was there.
Because it was so dead, everyone (especially me, because I don't do any cooking) had next to nothing to do. Around 9:30, my boss came into my area and said that sales were much lower than expected (even for the holidays), they didn't need to keep nearly as many people around and I could go home after three hours. I normally do six per day, with a half hour lunch. So today, I went home, after three hours, excited because I could now watch the Remembrance Day ceremonies on television (I was too late to attend an actual service as I usually do). Around 2pm, my boss called me at home and said that they expected the same tomorrow, and because they only needed one dishwasher, for a few hours, to keep up with the demand, my shift was cancelled. They chose the night guy to get the hours for tomorrow on account of senority, as he's been working three weeks longer than I have.
I was excited about today and neutral on tomorrow, but I conceded it would be nice to have such a long weekend. I posted about it on Facebook, just because I was excited about not having to get up tomorrow and such.
My friend commented and was like, "Why would you want your shift to be cancelled? If it was me, I'd be furious."
Which made me think about, again, how much time people waste being angry or disappointed over things that can't be changed. Like, actually. cannot. be. changed. No matter what you do or try to do.
Things like today, and tomorrow. I might've been able to stay a bit longer today, but with nothing to do. Plus, he said to go. So whatever. Tomorrow though.. well, boss is boss. He says no, I don't go.
And like my friend said, I could be furious. A lot of people would be. But I'm not. I can't do anything about it. The way I see it, he's right. The other dishwasher has more senority. Plus, the other dishwasher also has a child he's supporting and needs the hours much more than I do. Plus, I now have time to do things tomorrow that might not otherwise get done in a busy weekend. Plus, I don't have to wake up at 6 if I don't want to. It really depends on how you look at things.
To me, being angry at something I can't change is wasting energy that could more wisely and prudently be invested into something else, something which would see a result. For instance, I had two conversations within the last forty eight hours that, in my opinion, justify anger.
One, my mom's friend's daughter, approximately 15 years old, recently asked her mother to purchase some things that were simply outside of the limits of the mother's budget. The mother, trying to exercise prudence with her funds, said no.. to which the daughter replied that her mother should buy her said things because, as the parent, it is her responsibility to keep the daughter happy. (Should mention that daughter has a job and is capable of saving for wanted things). To me, the mother's resulting anger at her daughter's lack of respect and disregard of their financial situation is justifiable. It is a situation which could be changed, depending on the way mother chooses to answer her daughter, and what she teaches her about money and wise spending and saving, and respecting her mother's decisions and efforts.
Second situation involved a friend who was helping her boyfriend out temporarily with funds, but felt that she was giving him too much, and wanted to retain more for herself and her own expenses. As often happens with couples when talking about major issues, they disagreed and she was angry that he wanted so much.. but they talked about it and settled it suitably for both.
I don't think either of the subjects in those stories wasted their time being angry, because both situations were legitimate and things needed to and could be changed. Nor do I think being angry about cancelled shifts would be pointless if they were routinely being cancelled.. however, one shift, to me, is not worth it. I'm not losing the job and I know that this is just because of a holiday.
Similar situations I've run into include being angry over the weather, that one fell in the mud.. you know what I mean. Things that seem insurmountable like taxes and laws aren't always.. stand up for what you want, be angry, vote on it, write letters.
I hope this makes sense to you.. it's one of those things where it changes with every situation. But there are a lot of people who spend thousands of minutes upset over things they can do nothing about and that can't be changed.. minutes they'll never get back.
If you hypothetically had one million minutes in your life, and would die the second the last minute was up, how much of that would you want to spend mad, upset, or disappointed that you didn't have to? There's such a thing as righteous anger, but I would say that most of the time, anger isn't worth it.
Think about it when you find yourself getting angry. "I only have this minute of this day of this year once. I'll never have it again.. do I want to spend it joyful and appreciate the life I have, or angry and clouded because I refuse to see the good side of things?" Practice changing your perspective, and then do it as often as you can.. you'll find life gets lots more enjoyable.
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
~Mary Engelbreit
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Keep Trekkin', You'll Make It There. Trust Me.
Yesterday, (Friday), I celebrated the completion of my first two weeks at my new job. (I even bought myself a pudding as a reward!). I am very proud of myself. Not only for sticking with it for two weeks - and no, I'm not stopping there - but also for learning a brand new skill set and also some life lessons.
Yes. I said life lessons.
You're probably wondering what kind of crazy job I have, that two weeks would teach me something. I am a dishwasher for a university cafeteria. I love it, and I'm proud of what I do.
I've come to realize, with some help from others, that I have THE most important job in the place. Nothing happens if there's no clean dishes. I'm busy all day, and there's never nothing to do. I don't consider my job to be purely washing dishes, however.. in my opinion, and the goal I aim for, is to make every person I come in contact with happier. A lot of time, that simply means having clean dishes. But, if I put a little more effort in, the level of happiness actually, legitimately increases; instead of them just being 'happy' (read - satisfied) by the work that I do.
So, enter life lesson Numero Uno. If you're happy and upbeat, your day will go better, and everyone else's mood immediately improves along with yours.
Like I mentioned a couple of posts ago, smile everywhere and at any opportunity. I smile at everyone I meet, every morning, and usually it's accompanied by a very loud, energetic, and cheery "Good morning, _______!" They usually play music in the kitchen. We have two Jamaicans working with us, and often it's a Jamaican station from satellite radio. So, I dance across the floor. I give hugs away like they're a disease, unstoppable and spreading to every individual. I say please, excuse me, and thank you... even the people who bring me dishes get thanked. (Note. Kind of funny to do that.. they always look confused.) Part of my job is to collect cardboard and take it out to recycling, and also to help put away shipments of food every morning. I try to make everything I say positive. I say, "Yes sir," and "Yes ma'am," all the time. I don't think about having the 'lowest' job in the place. I think about how much I'm making their lives easier and better because I'm saving them time.
And it's working. Almost everyone smiles back. They tease me a lot... partially because I scare easily, and they think that's funny. I've got a few nicknames in two weeks.. including Princess, Little One (I'm pretty much the youngest), and this one fellow calls me Stretch. No idea why. They give me hugs. Someone gave me a cookie. Another offered to pay for the pudding I got yesterday. They apologize for bringing me dishes constantly and making messes.
Which brings to life lesson Number Two. The constant dishes.
See, my goal since starting has been to clear the racks and washing area every day, so I have nothing to do. It did happen Thursday, because the night washer had help Wednesday night. It was great. I kept up with everything right away, and I had time to Comet and scrub the entire place down and mop the floors. I was so proud of my pretty, clean, shiny dishpit - which I like to call my "haven" - and I let EVERYONE know. But, as I'm sure you can guess, it doesn't happen often. New dishes always come. It's cyclicle. Even on Friday, I couldn't fully keep up, even though it was spotless the day before.
At first, it bothered me. I wanted to be the best dishwasher they ever had, to keep up perfectly, to have it clean for the night dishwasher every day. I was discouraged when I had more than I could handle during my shift. But it didn't take long for me to realize that sometimes, even my best efforts won't fully clear away the mess.
So I was thinking long and hard about that this week during work, because I really don't want to get discouraged and disappointed every day I don't get absolutely everything done.. because that would mean 95% of the time I wouldn't be reaching my goal. There are ALWAYS new dirty dishes to be done. Thinking about that, I realized something.
It's not how much you have to go that's as important as how much you've already come. Although the dirty dishes matter and have to be washed, they really aren't what I should be focusing on. They're a goal to work towards, but that's all they are. What really matters is that I'm putting in my full effort and focusing on what I've accomplished- the dishes I've washed, the things I have done. Because I'll never be fully done, so if I keep looking at how far I have to go, I'll never realize how far I've already made it.
One of my favorite missionary stories involves Amy Carmichael. I read once about a story where she had to lead many children on a journey of several days, traveling on foot. Understandably, the children became tired and slightly less than agreeable. To encourage them, whenever they asked how much farther it was to their destination, she told them, "Every step you take is one step closer!" Meaning = There may be a lot to go to your goal, but as long as you're still moving forward, you're getting closer.
I had my own Amy Carmichael experience approximately two years ago in Guatemala. We had a day trip in which we were lucky enough to be able to climb an active volcano. I paid to ride a horse about halfway up, mostly because I love horses and take any opportunity to ride one. However, I was soon glad I did.. because when we hit the volcanic shale, I felt like I was going to die. If you've seen the Lord of the Rings, imagine the scenes of Mount Doom - foggy, desolate, and full of small, sharp rock chips that make walking difficult. That's pretty much exactly what we had for our walk up the latter half of the mountain. I made it fine for awhile.. mostly flat parts, I'll admit, but as soon as we hit some intense uphill I was done. Especially because I'm diabetic and my energy stores work a little different than other peoples'... since my body can't convert sugar on its own, once my energy reserves are depleted I'm practically useless. Eating helps a little, but it takes awhile and unless it's a substantial snack with sugars or protein, all it does is put me back to being stable.
Anyways, point of information and story is that my blood sugar was lowering, I was tired, emotional, and to make it worse, I kept tripping and falling. I was at the back of the pack, and far behind the next last person. But one man taught me an incredible lesson that day. And it's the lesson that came back to me in these last two weeks. It's not about how far you have to go. It's about how far you've come. Steve Smith (our head chaperone), stayed with me, encouraging, demanding, yelling, pushing, pulling, sharing his own water, and pointing out the way when I couldn't make it out anymore on account of sweat and tears.. and I made it to the top. Slowly, but surely, one step at a time, I walked those rocks.. or more like monkeyed over them, using my arms and my legs.. but I made it.
On the way down, I fell on a large chunk of volcanic rock and ripped a huge gash in my left knee. It bears a scar today. Add to that, we lost our guide for a while and ended up having to backtrack when we did find him. We had to zigzag up a portion.. and I was low, tired, somewhat disoriented, and now bleeding.. but I made it, because I set small goals and focused one step at a time. There was one boy in our group, and he was kind enough to stay with me. On the way back up that trail, I had him travel to the next turning point in the zigzag, and I walked to him. I didn't think about taking the whole trail on, or the rest of the walk down. I focused on twenty foot sections at a time, on making it to Tobyn, and then looking back and being proud of every twenty feet I accomplished.
Together, my job has reminded me of those two things and made them more real for me. We've already talked about making our world a better place with a better attitude in previous posts, so I'll leave that be... but I want to encourage you to, as Dory the fish says in Nemo, "just keep swimming". Don't look so far forward that all you think about is how much you have to go. Don't look back and spend your time thinking about when things weren't so hard, either. Doing either of those is bound to bring depression. Focus on what you're doing now. Small goals, one step at a time. Look back and be proud of how far you've come.
I was reading Chicken Soup for the Soul earlier today and I came across this quote: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."
So do that. If today doesn't work out, promise yourself you won't give up and you'll try again tomorrow. As long as you're moving forward, nothing else matters.
Yes. I said life lessons.
You're probably wondering what kind of crazy job I have, that two weeks would teach me something. I am a dishwasher for a university cafeteria. I love it, and I'm proud of what I do.
I've come to realize, with some help from others, that I have THE most important job in the place. Nothing happens if there's no clean dishes. I'm busy all day, and there's never nothing to do. I don't consider my job to be purely washing dishes, however.. in my opinion, and the goal I aim for, is to make every person I come in contact with happier. A lot of time, that simply means having clean dishes. But, if I put a little more effort in, the level of happiness actually, legitimately increases; instead of them just being 'happy' (read - satisfied) by the work that I do.
So, enter life lesson Numero Uno. If you're happy and upbeat, your day will go better, and everyone else's mood immediately improves along with yours.
Like I mentioned a couple of posts ago, smile everywhere and at any opportunity. I smile at everyone I meet, every morning, and usually it's accompanied by a very loud, energetic, and cheery "Good morning, _______!" They usually play music in the kitchen. We have two Jamaicans working with us, and often it's a Jamaican station from satellite radio. So, I dance across the floor. I give hugs away like they're a disease, unstoppable and spreading to every individual. I say please, excuse me, and thank you... even the people who bring me dishes get thanked. (Note. Kind of funny to do that.. they always look confused.) Part of my job is to collect cardboard and take it out to recycling, and also to help put away shipments of food every morning. I try to make everything I say positive. I say, "Yes sir," and "Yes ma'am," all the time. I don't think about having the 'lowest' job in the place. I think about how much I'm making their lives easier and better because I'm saving them time.
And it's working. Almost everyone smiles back. They tease me a lot... partially because I scare easily, and they think that's funny. I've got a few nicknames in two weeks.. including Princess, Little One (I'm pretty much the youngest), and this one fellow calls me Stretch. No idea why. They give me hugs. Someone gave me a cookie. Another offered to pay for the pudding I got yesterday. They apologize for bringing me dishes constantly and making messes.
Which brings to life lesson Number Two. The constant dishes.
See, my goal since starting has been to clear the racks and washing area every day, so I have nothing to do. It did happen Thursday, because the night washer had help Wednesday night. It was great. I kept up with everything right away, and I had time to Comet and scrub the entire place down and mop the floors. I was so proud of my pretty, clean, shiny dishpit - which I like to call my "haven" - and I let EVERYONE know. But, as I'm sure you can guess, it doesn't happen often. New dishes always come. It's cyclicle. Even on Friday, I couldn't fully keep up, even though it was spotless the day before.
At first, it bothered me. I wanted to be the best dishwasher they ever had, to keep up perfectly, to have it clean for the night dishwasher every day. I was discouraged when I had more than I could handle during my shift. But it didn't take long for me to realize that sometimes, even my best efforts won't fully clear away the mess.
So I was thinking long and hard about that this week during work, because I really don't want to get discouraged and disappointed every day I don't get absolutely everything done.. because that would mean 95% of the time I wouldn't be reaching my goal. There are ALWAYS new dirty dishes to be done. Thinking about that, I realized something.
It's not how much you have to go that's as important as how much you've already come. Although the dirty dishes matter and have to be washed, they really aren't what I should be focusing on. They're a goal to work towards, but that's all they are. What really matters is that I'm putting in my full effort and focusing on what I've accomplished- the dishes I've washed, the things I have done. Because I'll never be fully done, so if I keep looking at how far I have to go, I'll never realize how far I've already made it.
One of my favorite missionary stories involves Amy Carmichael. I read once about a story where she had to lead many children on a journey of several days, traveling on foot. Understandably, the children became tired and slightly less than agreeable. To encourage them, whenever they asked how much farther it was to their destination, she told them, "Every step you take is one step closer!" Meaning = There may be a lot to go to your goal, but as long as you're still moving forward, you're getting closer.
I had my own Amy Carmichael experience approximately two years ago in Guatemala. We had a day trip in which we were lucky enough to be able to climb an active volcano. I paid to ride a horse about halfway up, mostly because I love horses and take any opportunity to ride one. However, I was soon glad I did.. because when we hit the volcanic shale, I felt like I was going to die. If you've seen the Lord of the Rings, imagine the scenes of Mount Doom - foggy, desolate, and full of small, sharp rock chips that make walking difficult. That's pretty much exactly what we had for our walk up the latter half of the mountain. I made it fine for awhile.. mostly flat parts, I'll admit, but as soon as we hit some intense uphill I was done. Especially because I'm diabetic and my energy stores work a little different than other peoples'... since my body can't convert sugar on its own, once my energy reserves are depleted I'm practically useless. Eating helps a little, but it takes awhile and unless it's a substantial snack with sugars or protein, all it does is put me back to being stable.
Anyways, point of information and story is that my blood sugar was lowering, I was tired, emotional, and to make it worse, I kept tripping and falling. I was at the back of the pack, and far behind the next last person. But one man taught me an incredible lesson that day. And it's the lesson that came back to me in these last two weeks. It's not about how far you have to go. It's about how far you've come. Steve Smith (our head chaperone), stayed with me, encouraging, demanding, yelling, pushing, pulling, sharing his own water, and pointing out the way when I couldn't make it out anymore on account of sweat and tears.. and I made it to the top. Slowly, but surely, one step at a time, I walked those rocks.. or more like monkeyed over them, using my arms and my legs.. but I made it.
On the way down, I fell on a large chunk of volcanic rock and ripped a huge gash in my left knee. It bears a scar today. Add to that, we lost our guide for a while and ended up having to backtrack when we did find him. We had to zigzag up a portion.. and I was low, tired, somewhat disoriented, and now bleeding.. but I made it, because I set small goals and focused one step at a time. There was one boy in our group, and he was kind enough to stay with me. On the way back up that trail, I had him travel to the next turning point in the zigzag, and I walked to him. I didn't think about taking the whole trail on, or the rest of the walk down. I focused on twenty foot sections at a time, on making it to Tobyn, and then looking back and being proud of every twenty feet I accomplished.
Together, my job has reminded me of those two things and made them more real for me. We've already talked about making our world a better place with a better attitude in previous posts, so I'll leave that be... but I want to encourage you to, as Dory the fish says in Nemo, "just keep swimming". Don't look so far forward that all you think about is how much you have to go. Don't look back and spend your time thinking about when things weren't so hard, either. Doing either of those is bound to bring depression. Focus on what you're doing now. Small goals, one step at a time. Look back and be proud of how far you've come.
I was reading Chicken Soup for the Soul earlier today and I came across this quote: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."
So do that. If today doesn't work out, promise yourself you won't give up and you'll try again tomorrow. As long as you're moving forward, nothing else matters.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Just For Jody
I was personally requested to write another tonight. This one's for Jody.. but hopefully the rest of you will like it too :)
On Halloween, I volunteered at our church's event for children, as I have been doing for almost 10 years now. Right when I got there, the dean of the Bible school pulled me into her office for a few minutes to give me back some assignments from last year (teacher took awhile to mark them :S)
Anyways, the stuff received was from our course in Authority. The ending assignment was a paper on said subject. I took mine home after the event, and reread it - and you know what? It might be wrong to say, but I was impressed with myself. I really think I did a good job on that paper.. and I got 90% on it, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say maybe the instructor did too.
I also thought it tied in a little with my last blog. So, I'm going to copy and paste the first half for you to read (second half is personal example, which I would share but I think it would make this way too long and although it's good, it's not necessary to add for my point)
-------
Authority
Everyone agrees that authority, both as a cultural idea and in physical examples, exists. Most would also say that they’ve encountered both good and bad examples of authority. However,for us to further explain this idea of good and bad authority, we must fully understand exactly what authority is.
http://www.dictionary.com/ defines authority in this way: “The power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine.” Wikipedia states that the word authority is derived from the Latin word “auctoritas”, which means “invention, advice, opinion, nfluence, or commands,” which come from an “auctor” – or in English - a master, leader, or author. Authority, therefore, is in essence the ability of one person (a superior) to impose his will and direction on another (an inferior). This usually involves force of arms, called structural authority or compulsion, or by force ofargument, called sapiential authority or persuasion.
Authority is not the same as power, but these terms are often exchanged freely for each other, especially in common areas like policing and government. However, power is force, compelling someone to do something that, without the abusive power of force, he or she wouldn’t or couldn’t do.
To better understand this idea, consider a very common illustration : a parent and a child. When the child respects his parent’s wishes and therefore does what the parent asks him to do, he is respecting the authority his parent possesses. However, let’s say the child is of a bit younger age, and today happens to have missed his nap. He is tired, upset, and refuses to put on his jacket as requested. At this point, the parent moves past his or her authority and into the medium of power, and dresses the child themselves. Although it may have been necessary to use power (perhaps it was cold outside), the parent essentially forced the child to do what he did not want to do himself. This is the difference between authority and power – one asks for obedience, and the other requires it.
Of course, this is a situation where the use of power would be considered appropriate by most. Like every other situation in this world, the opposite could be and sometimes is true. A common example that many people are familiar with is Adolph Hitler’s Nazi regime. Some are not aware of the fact that Adolph Hitler actually had legitimate authority as the German potentate. He was appointed to the German government as Chancellor in 1933, and then Fuhrer in 1934. However, Hitler, as we all know, abused his authority and used his power as Germany’s ruler to decimate Europe in a personal quest for absolute power over the earth and all within it.
Sometimes the people or groups wielding the power and authority aren’t the same. For instance, the Boston Tea Party was a rebellion of the citizens of Boston, Massachusetts against the British government in 1773. In that situation, the authority was held by Great Britain… but the power was in the hands of the Bostonians themselves. Authority also has a time frame, and it doesn’t always have to be a person, specifically – it can be nearly anything that requires you to do or be something. It can last forever (like God’s authority, or the authority of food and water over your body), many years (a king’s authority lasts as long as his life does), a few months (school asts ten months out of the year), or even two minutes – such as a traffic light.
Authority is a touchy reality and one that is subject to much debate and disagreement, simply because of what it stands for. People always have resisted and always will resist someone or something domineering over them, whether it’s legimate or not. This means that people in positions of authority must be very careful in how they deal with their respective areas of leadership.
This course on authority has shown me how I should uphold and respect all authority, whether I consider it good, bad, right, wrong, or otherwise. What I’ve discovered and deciphered out of everything I’ve learned in life until this point about the subject of authority = obedience is a journey, and we all take it.
----------
The reason I thought this tied in to the last post is probably obvious. We will all, at some point in our lives, be placed in authority over someone. Maybe more than one someone. And we will all, likewise, be placed in a situation where we have to submit. The key is, how will you handle it? Nobody likes to be bossed around, but sometimes it's necessary. If you can't follow, are you sure you can lead? Humility goes a long way. Often, we say we can do it better.. but maybe, just maybe, that's why we're not doing it.
So here's the question. When you're in a leadership position, will you move into the medium of power by using force to accomplish your will? Or will you stay stay in an authoritative and respective mode? When you're in a situation where you have to obey, will you do so without question or complaint?
The greatest leaders in the world are also good followers. What are you?
“If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.”
~Yugoslavian Proverb~
On Halloween, I volunteered at our church's event for children, as I have been doing for almost 10 years now. Right when I got there, the dean of the Bible school pulled me into her office for a few minutes to give me back some assignments from last year (teacher took awhile to mark them :S)
Anyways, the stuff received was from our course in Authority. The ending assignment was a paper on said subject. I took mine home after the event, and reread it - and you know what? It might be wrong to say, but I was impressed with myself. I really think I did a good job on that paper.. and I got 90% on it, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say maybe the instructor did too.
I also thought it tied in a little with my last blog. So, I'm going to copy and paste the first half for you to read (second half is personal example, which I would share but I think it would make this way too long and although it's good, it's not necessary to add for my point)
-------
Authority
Everyone agrees that authority, both as a cultural idea and in physical examples, exists. Most would also say that they’ve encountered both good and bad examples of authority. However,for us to further explain this idea of good and bad authority, we must fully understand exactly what authority is.
http://www.dictionary.com/ defines authority in this way: “The power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine.” Wikipedia states that the word authority is derived from the Latin word “auctoritas”, which means “invention, advice, opinion, nfluence, or commands,” which come from an “auctor” – or in English - a master, leader, or author. Authority, therefore, is in essence the ability of one person (a superior) to impose his will and direction on another (an inferior). This usually involves force of arms, called structural authority or compulsion, or by force ofargument, called sapiential authority or persuasion.
Authority is not the same as power, but these terms are often exchanged freely for each other, especially in common areas like policing and government. However, power is force, compelling someone to do something that, without the abusive power of force, he or she wouldn’t or couldn’t do.
To better understand this idea, consider a very common illustration : a parent and a child. When the child respects his parent’s wishes and therefore does what the parent asks him to do, he is respecting the authority his parent possesses. However, let’s say the child is of a bit younger age, and today happens to have missed his nap. He is tired, upset, and refuses to put on his jacket as requested. At this point, the parent moves past his or her authority and into the medium of power, and dresses the child themselves. Although it may have been necessary to use power (perhaps it was cold outside), the parent essentially forced the child to do what he did not want to do himself. This is the difference between authority and power – one asks for obedience, and the other requires it.
Of course, this is a situation where the use of power would be considered appropriate by most. Like every other situation in this world, the opposite could be and sometimes is true. A common example that many people are familiar with is Adolph Hitler’s Nazi regime. Some are not aware of the fact that Adolph Hitler actually had legitimate authority as the German potentate. He was appointed to the German government as Chancellor in 1933, and then Fuhrer in 1934. However, Hitler, as we all know, abused his authority and used his power as Germany’s ruler to decimate Europe in a personal quest for absolute power over the earth and all within it.
Sometimes the people or groups wielding the power and authority aren’t the same. For instance, the Boston Tea Party was a rebellion of the citizens of Boston, Massachusetts against the British government in 1773. In that situation, the authority was held by Great Britain… but the power was in the hands of the Bostonians themselves. Authority also has a time frame, and it doesn’t always have to be a person, specifically – it can be nearly anything that requires you to do or be something. It can last forever (like God’s authority, or the authority of food and water over your body), many years (a king’s authority lasts as long as his life does), a few months (school asts ten months out of the year), or even two minutes – such as a traffic light.
Authority is a touchy reality and one that is subject to much debate and disagreement, simply because of what it stands for. People always have resisted and always will resist someone or something domineering over them, whether it’s legimate or not. This means that people in positions of authority must be very careful in how they deal with their respective areas of leadership.
This course on authority has shown me how I should uphold and respect all authority, whether I consider it good, bad, right, wrong, or otherwise. What I’ve discovered and deciphered out of everything I’ve learned in life until this point about the subject of authority = obedience is a journey, and we all take it.
----------
The reason I thought this tied in to the last post is probably obvious. We will all, at some point in our lives, be placed in authority over someone. Maybe more than one someone. And we will all, likewise, be placed in a situation where we have to submit. The key is, how will you handle it? Nobody likes to be bossed around, but sometimes it's necessary. If you can't follow, are you sure you can lead? Humility goes a long way. Often, we say we can do it better.. but maybe, just maybe, that's why we're not doing it.
So here's the question. When you're in a leadership position, will you move into the medium of power by using force to accomplish your will? Or will you stay stay in an authoritative and respective mode? When you're in a situation where you have to obey, will you do so without question or complaint?
The greatest leaders in the world are also good followers. What are you?
“If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.”
~Yugoslavian Proverb~
Sunday, October 31, 2010
No "Ridin' Solo"
I don't know about you, but I live in Kelowna. In Kelowna, there are about 106,000 people at last count. That's a lot of people. That's a lot of opportunity.
I've just been realizing this in a new way so often over the last month. I was volunteering twice a week at my chiropractor's office, helping out with front desk and some random chores. As such, I put away and pulled files several times a day. Each of those files belong to someone. Each of those someones has a name. It was very rewarding for me, personally, to be able to match file names with actual people and to put a name to a face.. even though I hardly ever saw them again. There are probably over two thousand files in that office. When I was putting files away, or grabbing them for the doctor, it struck me every time that each of those files represents a real person, with real goals and dreams, real problems - each of those file people mattered to someone and somebody loved them, even though I might not know them personally (and usually didn't).
The same thing happens when I walk into the mall, or my sister's school, or any busy, public place. To look up and see people... but then to pay attention and change the way you think, and instead of seeing people, you see individuals. To look at the man in the trenchcoat who's walking quickly, and to wonder where he's hurrying to. The young, pregnant lady with a toddler... to wonder if she's on her own or if she's got a loving husband to go home to and help her with her little ones.
I've heard people call this kind of thing stalking. I would have to disagree. I'm not actually asking questions, following, or even looking inside the files as I put them away.. I just pause and am reminded that each one of these people have value.
I was walking to cheer a few weeks ago with my brother (aka close family friend), and we were talking. He often mentions frustrating situations at work, where he deals with customer service a lot. I always tell him to keep smiling, and that by smiling he may change that person's day for the better.. or maybe even their life. I tell him that every time he trains a new employee, even though he has to do everything slowly and perhaps more than once, that maybe he's training the best employee that company will ever have. Maybe that new guy will revolutionize the way this company works and bring them millions. And maybe, just maybe, it's all because of the way and manner he was trained in when he first started. On that particular day, on that particular walk to cheer, we were talking about all the students we'd passed on the way. And it hit me again.
There are 106,000 people in Kelowna. That's 106,000 people that I interact with every day. That's 106,000 people whose lives could be changed by me, if I take care and produce the effort to make it so.
The big word for me in the last couple of weeks has been COMMUNITY. I don't think I've understood better than I do now how important community is.
Community is life. It's protection. It's comfort, and it's love. It's provision, it's education, it's opportunity. It's everything we've ever needed, but we so often choose not to utilize it. We stick with our small circle of friends and rely on them for everything. And you know, that's great. Sometimes, that's all we need. But the world is big, and there's so much more out there. All we have to do is step out the front door and look, and we will meet people and have experiences that will change our lives, right in our own city.
Kelowna, especially, has had a strong sense of community in the past because of our forest fires. People here opened their hearts and their doors for other citizens of the city and surrounding area. It was amazing.
But I think it's fading.
A few weeks ago in church my pastor told us a story. He said that in ancient times, no army would attack Sparta, and that people marveled at the great city because of its strength. He said that the walls were so high, no arrows could fly over them. They were so thick, that no battering ram could penetrate them. They surrounded the city at such great distance that it would be impossible to march around it.
However, when visitors came looking for the famed walls, they found nothing. Sparta was an open city with no barriers of any kind at its perimeters. Confused, they would ask for an explanation of why there was such fame for the walls of Sparta, when clearly none existed.
The answer they would receive was this. When we are attacked, every able man helps to defend our city. Our walls do exist, but only when they need to, only when we create them. The famed height is because in every row one man stands on another's shoulders. Battering rams cannot defeat us, because behind every man stands another, and another, and another, all with shields at ready. They surround the city easily and cannot be penetrated because every man links arms with the one next to him. Together, Spartans form the walls of Sparta, and we are not easily defeated when we are fighting for our homeland.
I don't know if that's true, but what an amazing story and concept. To have such a strong community bond that its fame stretches for miles beyond the community's borders. Obviously, the people of Kelowna aren't going to protect the city from literal invaders... or are they?
Poverty is an invader. Sickness is an invader. Loneliness. Depression. Stress. Even natural disasters like fire. There is so much we can do to strengthen our community, to build up a network of contacts and a web of people that we help and in turn can be helped by. Donate to the food bank. Give blood. Clean up the streets in your neighbourhood. Even something as simple as calling a friend and saying, "Hey, how are you doing? Do you need help with anything?" If you're not into volunteering type things, try involving yourself in sports. Don't litter. Let someone into your lane when you're driving. Try and make a new friend. The most easily accomplished and never used community building tool = smile.
There are 106,000 people in Kelowna. If you don't live here, I'm sure there are people in your city too. Look around you. How many lives can you change today by simply being a better neighbour?
I've just been realizing this in a new way so often over the last month. I was volunteering twice a week at my chiropractor's office, helping out with front desk and some random chores. As such, I put away and pulled files several times a day. Each of those files belong to someone. Each of those someones has a name. It was very rewarding for me, personally, to be able to match file names with actual people and to put a name to a face.. even though I hardly ever saw them again. There are probably over two thousand files in that office. When I was putting files away, or grabbing them for the doctor, it struck me every time that each of those files represents a real person, with real goals and dreams, real problems - each of those file people mattered to someone and somebody loved them, even though I might not know them personally (and usually didn't).
The same thing happens when I walk into the mall, or my sister's school, or any busy, public place. To look up and see people... but then to pay attention and change the way you think, and instead of seeing people, you see individuals. To look at the man in the trenchcoat who's walking quickly, and to wonder where he's hurrying to. The young, pregnant lady with a toddler... to wonder if she's on her own or if she's got a loving husband to go home to and help her with her little ones.
I've heard people call this kind of thing stalking. I would have to disagree. I'm not actually asking questions, following, or even looking inside the files as I put them away.. I just pause and am reminded that each one of these people have value.
I was walking to cheer a few weeks ago with my brother (aka close family friend), and we were talking. He often mentions frustrating situations at work, where he deals with customer service a lot. I always tell him to keep smiling, and that by smiling he may change that person's day for the better.. or maybe even their life. I tell him that every time he trains a new employee, even though he has to do everything slowly and perhaps more than once, that maybe he's training the best employee that company will ever have. Maybe that new guy will revolutionize the way this company works and bring them millions. And maybe, just maybe, it's all because of the way and manner he was trained in when he first started. On that particular day, on that particular walk to cheer, we were talking about all the students we'd passed on the way. And it hit me again.
There are 106,000 people in Kelowna. That's 106,000 people that I interact with every day. That's 106,000 people whose lives could be changed by me, if I take care and produce the effort to make it so.
The big word for me in the last couple of weeks has been COMMUNITY. I don't think I've understood better than I do now how important community is.
Community is life. It's protection. It's comfort, and it's love. It's provision, it's education, it's opportunity. It's everything we've ever needed, but we so often choose not to utilize it. We stick with our small circle of friends and rely on them for everything. And you know, that's great. Sometimes, that's all we need. But the world is big, and there's so much more out there. All we have to do is step out the front door and look, and we will meet people and have experiences that will change our lives, right in our own city.
Kelowna, especially, has had a strong sense of community in the past because of our forest fires. People here opened their hearts and their doors for other citizens of the city and surrounding area. It was amazing.
But I think it's fading.
A few weeks ago in church my pastor told us a story. He said that in ancient times, no army would attack Sparta, and that people marveled at the great city because of its strength. He said that the walls were so high, no arrows could fly over them. They were so thick, that no battering ram could penetrate them. They surrounded the city at such great distance that it would be impossible to march around it.
However, when visitors came looking for the famed walls, they found nothing. Sparta was an open city with no barriers of any kind at its perimeters. Confused, they would ask for an explanation of why there was such fame for the walls of Sparta, when clearly none existed.
The answer they would receive was this. When we are attacked, every able man helps to defend our city. Our walls do exist, but only when they need to, only when we create them. The famed height is because in every row one man stands on another's shoulders. Battering rams cannot defeat us, because behind every man stands another, and another, and another, all with shields at ready. They surround the city easily and cannot be penetrated because every man links arms with the one next to him. Together, Spartans form the walls of Sparta, and we are not easily defeated when we are fighting for our homeland.
I don't know if that's true, but what an amazing story and concept. To have such a strong community bond that its fame stretches for miles beyond the community's borders. Obviously, the people of Kelowna aren't going to protect the city from literal invaders... or are they?
Poverty is an invader. Sickness is an invader. Loneliness. Depression. Stress. Even natural disasters like fire. There is so much we can do to strengthen our community, to build up a network of contacts and a web of people that we help and in turn can be helped by. Donate to the food bank. Give blood. Clean up the streets in your neighbourhood. Even something as simple as calling a friend and saying, "Hey, how are you doing? Do you need help with anything?" If you're not into volunteering type things, try involving yourself in sports. Don't litter. Let someone into your lane when you're driving. Try and make a new friend. The most easily accomplished and never used community building tool = smile.
There are 106,000 people in Kelowna. If you don't live here, I'm sure there are people in your city too. Look around you. How many lives can you change today by simply being a better neighbour?
Sunday, October 24, 2010
No Pain, No Gain
A long time ago, I was taught to never leave blank spaces.
You know what I mean. In art class. I'd be drawing. There would come a point where I would have no more ideas and therefore considered myself finished. Then the teacher would come along and look. If she saw white, she would say, "You're not finished.. there's still space. Fill it up, Ashleigh - use your imagination and draw whatever you want. There's no right or wrong, as long as you fill the page. I know there's more inside of you... fill the page, sweetheart."
So I did. I learned to fill pages with my emotions, my thoughts, my ideas, my plans. I reached a level in my artistic ability where there was never a problem with using the space. But tonight I realized that somewhere along the line, I've forgotten that most simple of lessons - to not stop at what you think is finished, but to reach out and push yourself, to strive, to create. Until you've filled the space.
Tonight I'm babysitting. The boy is three years old, and there are crayons and paper on the table. I filled the space with color and emotion, just as I'd been taught.. but about halfway, I almost stopped. Because I wasn't sure what to do or where to go next. That's when it hit me - this piece of paper is just like my life.
So much has happened to me in the last week that my head is still spinning. Even tonight, I wasn't sure what to blog on... my planned idea seemed so unfit for the way I feel right now. So, instead of blogging, I drew. And through that simple, childlike experience, I grew. And so I knew then that that's what I would tell you. So here's the spew. ;)
Basically, that page is my life, the crayons are my experiences, and I am the artist. This summer I was stuck. Blank. Left with white spaces. I had no idea where to go or what to do. I was getting depressed.
Let me say that I don't think I wasted my whole summer. I put a lot of time and effort into growing some newer friendships and I'm glad I had the time and opportunity to do that. But my plan after getting back from Africa in May had been to work all summer, fall, winter.. and then see what happens. I was going to revert back to where I had been at after I graduated high school. I had three plans.. a) go to university, b) travel abroad, or c) go up north and apprentice to a musher. It didn't work out that way.
After Bible school I lost any motivation for education.. I needed a break. Going up north didn't appeal to me any longer. I wasn't finding a job, even though I put effort into searching. I decided I wanted to go to Europe, and started looking into options to get there.
Nothing worked, and I sat at home for weeks on end, doing nothing with the majority of my time. I was bored, frustrated, and sinking deeper into the depression that had already started.
A few weeks ago, I looked up. I knew I was depressed because I was choosing more and more to sleep my days away, and I wasn't okay with that. So finally, I asked God - "What's the plan? Nothing I want is working and I've lost all my drive. I know I'm not useless and that there's a place for me... what is it?"
Nothing happened right that second, but I was driven back into my Bible, searching for answers. It was encouraging, but it still wasn't fixing my problem.. my future was still a huge, blank space. I posted about how my dreams seemed to be crumbling on Facebook, and my friend's mother offered to meet me for coffee and a chat. She's not exactly professional.. but she is amazing at planning things and setting goals, and I knew that's what I needed to do - so I said yes.
The first time was a few days after the post, and my mood had lightened considerably, and I REALLY didn't want to go. That made me sure that I had to.... because for me, there are two types of "not want" feelings: 1) the regular "I don't really mind if I miss this and it won't affect my life too much if I do (for example, watching Survivor or sometimes missing an event), but then there's b) I really don't want to go and can't get it off my mind, and all I can think about is how much I don't want to go. This meeting was defnintely not want to B. I know from experience that whenever feeling B shows up, that whatever I want to avoid must definitely not be avoided. I went.
She hasn't shared with me a ton that I don't know. I'd say 70-80% of what she's told me in two meetings I knew already... but the difference comes in when you are pushed to apply it to your own life, instead of just spitting it out from memory like you would facts on a test. That was what I wasn't doing - applying it. Coloring the spaces. In fact, I would have to say I was running from it. Leaving the spaces blank because I was too discouraged from past attempts to make things work that failed. She changed that for me.
I am inspired again. I'm learning how to set goals and keep them - something I've never really done. I'm an accountability person. Being accountable to this lady, to be accountable to myself, is the best thing I've done for me in a long time. In the Bible it says clearly, "Without a vision, the people perish." Another common quote says, "Fail to plan, plan to fail." I still had my ideas, but I wasn't applying them to the paper of my life. I wasn't planning, and I was failing.. and miserably, too.
Since that first meeting two weeks ago, when I decided that my life had to change and I had to remotivate myself to move forward, several things have happened. I got a call from a job I had applied for. I went for the interview. Yesterday, I found out that I have the job. I start Monday. I've looked into university again, and I'm seriously considering reapplying.
I reviewed my colors and I'm excited about the prospect of blank space to be filled. I took my ideas and former goals that I ditched on a shelf in the back of my brain and dusted them off. I have a plan once again, and this time I'm not trying to set things up on my own. I've learned that staying motivated, even when ideas don't work out the first time, is way easier when you firstly give it up to the Master Artist and say, "I need a little nudge... can you show me the way?" and secondly when you surround yourself with people who encourage you to push yourself and applaud your successes along the way.
Even this blog has renewed life within it.. I've wanted to quit, but one very dear friend of mine texted or facebooked me every Saturday to tell me she loved my writing and to keep going, to not give up. There would only be about 5 posts if it weren't for Kira Machek.
And there would still be a very sad and bored Ashleigh if God hadn't nudged me in Jody Wielgosz's direction, and through her shown me that my goals are worth keeping and accomplishing.
I know you both read this, and I want to publicly thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done for me. I love you and I pray that God blesses you richly for the help you've been to me.
This is a really long blog, and I'm sorry for that. But that's where I am tonight. I'm the artist of my own sheet of paper, and I've new ideas and a new excitement for the blank spaces. I hope this encourages you to start drawing again, to begin to fill up the white spots on your own sheet of life paper - because your goals, dreams and ideas are worth saving, too.
You know what I mean. In art class. I'd be drawing. There would come a point where I would have no more ideas and therefore considered myself finished. Then the teacher would come along and look. If she saw white, she would say, "You're not finished.. there's still space. Fill it up, Ashleigh - use your imagination and draw whatever you want. There's no right or wrong, as long as you fill the page. I know there's more inside of you... fill the page, sweetheart."
So I did. I learned to fill pages with my emotions, my thoughts, my ideas, my plans. I reached a level in my artistic ability where there was never a problem with using the space. But tonight I realized that somewhere along the line, I've forgotten that most simple of lessons - to not stop at what you think is finished, but to reach out and push yourself, to strive, to create. Until you've filled the space.
Tonight I'm babysitting. The boy is three years old, and there are crayons and paper on the table. I filled the space with color and emotion, just as I'd been taught.. but about halfway, I almost stopped. Because I wasn't sure what to do or where to go next. That's when it hit me - this piece of paper is just like my life.
So much has happened to me in the last week that my head is still spinning. Even tonight, I wasn't sure what to blog on... my planned idea seemed so unfit for the way I feel right now. So, instead of blogging, I drew. And through that simple, childlike experience, I grew. And so I knew then that that's what I would tell you. So here's the spew. ;)
Basically, that page is my life, the crayons are my experiences, and I am the artist. This summer I was stuck. Blank. Left with white spaces. I had no idea where to go or what to do. I was getting depressed.
Let me say that I don't think I wasted my whole summer. I put a lot of time and effort into growing some newer friendships and I'm glad I had the time and opportunity to do that. But my plan after getting back from Africa in May had been to work all summer, fall, winter.. and then see what happens. I was going to revert back to where I had been at after I graduated high school. I had three plans.. a) go to university, b) travel abroad, or c) go up north and apprentice to a musher. It didn't work out that way.
After Bible school I lost any motivation for education.. I needed a break. Going up north didn't appeal to me any longer. I wasn't finding a job, even though I put effort into searching. I decided I wanted to go to Europe, and started looking into options to get there.
Nothing worked, and I sat at home for weeks on end, doing nothing with the majority of my time. I was bored, frustrated, and sinking deeper into the depression that had already started.
A few weeks ago, I looked up. I knew I was depressed because I was choosing more and more to sleep my days away, and I wasn't okay with that. So finally, I asked God - "What's the plan? Nothing I want is working and I've lost all my drive. I know I'm not useless and that there's a place for me... what is it?"
Nothing happened right that second, but I was driven back into my Bible, searching for answers. It was encouraging, but it still wasn't fixing my problem.. my future was still a huge, blank space. I posted about how my dreams seemed to be crumbling on Facebook, and my friend's mother offered to meet me for coffee and a chat. She's not exactly professional.. but she is amazing at planning things and setting goals, and I knew that's what I needed to do - so I said yes.
The first time was a few days after the post, and my mood had lightened considerably, and I REALLY didn't want to go. That made me sure that I had to.... because for me, there are two types of "not want" feelings: 1) the regular "I don't really mind if I miss this and it won't affect my life too much if I do (for example, watching Survivor or sometimes missing an event), but then there's b) I really don't want to go and can't get it off my mind, and all I can think about is how much I don't want to go. This meeting was defnintely not want to B. I know from experience that whenever feeling B shows up, that whatever I want to avoid must definitely not be avoided. I went.
She hasn't shared with me a ton that I don't know. I'd say 70-80% of what she's told me in two meetings I knew already... but the difference comes in when you are pushed to apply it to your own life, instead of just spitting it out from memory like you would facts on a test. That was what I wasn't doing - applying it. Coloring the spaces. In fact, I would have to say I was running from it. Leaving the spaces blank because I was too discouraged from past attempts to make things work that failed. She changed that for me.
I am inspired again. I'm learning how to set goals and keep them - something I've never really done. I'm an accountability person. Being accountable to this lady, to be accountable to myself, is the best thing I've done for me in a long time. In the Bible it says clearly, "Without a vision, the people perish." Another common quote says, "Fail to plan, plan to fail." I still had my ideas, but I wasn't applying them to the paper of my life. I wasn't planning, and I was failing.. and miserably, too.
Since that first meeting two weeks ago, when I decided that my life had to change and I had to remotivate myself to move forward, several things have happened. I got a call from a job I had applied for. I went for the interview. Yesterday, I found out that I have the job. I start Monday. I've looked into university again, and I'm seriously considering reapplying.
I reviewed my colors and I'm excited about the prospect of blank space to be filled. I took my ideas and former goals that I ditched on a shelf in the back of my brain and dusted them off. I have a plan once again, and this time I'm not trying to set things up on my own. I've learned that staying motivated, even when ideas don't work out the first time, is way easier when you firstly give it up to the Master Artist and say, "I need a little nudge... can you show me the way?" and secondly when you surround yourself with people who encourage you to push yourself and applaud your successes along the way.
Even this blog has renewed life within it.. I've wanted to quit, but one very dear friend of mine texted or facebooked me every Saturday to tell me she loved my writing and to keep going, to not give up. There would only be about 5 posts if it weren't for Kira Machek.
And there would still be a very sad and bored Ashleigh if God hadn't nudged me in Jody Wielgosz's direction, and through her shown me that my goals are worth keeping and accomplishing.
I know you both read this, and I want to publicly thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done for me. I love you and I pray that God blesses you richly for the help you've been to me.
This is a really long blog, and I'm sorry for that. But that's where I am tonight. I'm the artist of my own sheet of paper, and I've new ideas and a new excitement for the blank spaces. I hope this encourages you to start drawing again, to begin to fill up the white spots on your own sheet of life paper - because your goals, dreams and ideas are worth saving, too.
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