My brain is a really jumbled mish-mash of thoughts that I'll attempt to organize for your benefit, but please walk away now if you're impatient. :)
Anyways, the last couple of weeks I've been thinking alot about three things: stress reduction, commitment (in relationships), and renewed interest in life.
They are seperate ideas that tangle together into a huge messy knot. I'll tackle them one at a time though, or at least try.
To start, a couple I know recently became pregnant out of wedlock. As both a Christian and someone who has witnessed firsthand many negative effects of that very situation, I find it hard to accept, let alone congratulate them. But they are adults, and they're happy, and simply put, I can't step into a situation like that and point fingers whilst screaming, "you're WRONG, and now this baby's going to grow up in an unstable home and probably seperated parents and blah blah blah."
That might not happen. Statistically, it's likely. And that's what hurts me. When I was told, all I could think for the next hour was, "You weren't strong enough to say no." But there's nothing I can do about it except hope for the best, and hope for the baby's sake that they'll be strong enough to stay together.
It really gets under my skin, thinking about the status of today's relationship belief system.
How fragile the idea of commitment is, and how easily society smashes it into fragments at its pleasure. Why we undervalue it so much. Like that song, Irreplaceable, by Beyonce:
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
That's society's opinion of relationships. That they're commodities. If you find your model defective at any point, return it and get a replacement within two weeks.
Even at work this last Friday, I was having trouble doing something and I said out loud, "I need a guy," (because they're stronger) and one of the older ladies looked at me and said, "Don't EVER say that; you don't need a guy at all. Ever."
Except, man and woman were created to be together:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24, NIV
I believe that I'm strong enough to live life on my own. But I also believe that I was created to be with a man, and that God's got one picked out for me. So yes, I do need one. Because there is a specific man on this planet that can and will give me one day something that no other person could. Why would God design such a thing as marriage if the opposite were true?
That same lady, one other guy, and I were discussing whether most major conflicts in history were related to religion, and I told her I'd have to do a little research to offer a solid opinion on that.. but if she wanted my opinion on relationships and men, to rent the movie Fireproof and go home and watch it with her husband.
Hopefully, that will help her to understand that we may not 'need' a spouse/significant other like we need a house or clothes, but that they do fill a place in our lives that was meant for none other. And that each relationship, whether it be your husband/wife, other relative, friend, or even stranger deserves respect, hard work, and commitment for the time you are involved in that other person's life - be it five minutes or fifty years.
This has just really been in my heart and head for the last little while, as I continue to come into that age where I will within a few years mostly likely have entered a relationship of my own, with a goal of marriage. I think about the various examples I've seen, both good and bad, and the one I want to set for my generation, and the generations afterward. Because relationships aren't contracts. They're promises. Eternal ones. Like the wedding vows say, "for better or for worse, as long as we both shall live."
They ought to be treated as such.
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