Image. What the heck? When did society decide that to fit in, you had to dress and act within very certain parameters?
Not that I'm against looking good. But today, appearance has gone from being about one's personal style and means to becoming a world-wide, never-ending court case - it gets judged constantly, and most of us often come up short according to current standards.
See, there's a line in there somewhere that someone buried a long time ago, and everyone's forgotten about. Its name is individuality. Nobody ever sees it, and few remember it even exists now... it's been under the sands of time for so very long.
I would suppose it came from the days when people couldn't afford proper clothing and hygiene. Many still can't in today's world, and they are looked down on more than they ever were in history - escpecially in North America. Fashion evolves... it never just happened. Once upon a time, we were dressed in much the same thing as everyone else and nobody cared. Then, one day, someone made something a little more beautiful than the same thing everyone else owned - and bang! Jealousy was born as fashion emerged - the very first items in the "Have to Have" section of this year's Sears catalogue.
I do agree that it's important to take care of yourself hygenically. I haven't always in the past, but as I've grown into an adult it's become much more important to me. People who invest time in keeping themselves tidy smell better, look better, and have confidence in themselves... it's hard to feel pride in something that's dirty and smelly and sweaty all the time.
However, there's more to a person than the way they look. Society has grabbed hold of that aspect of a person too... with the invention of 'cliques'. You know what I'm talking about. Every high school has the nerds, the jocks, the cheerleaders - you name it. They all dress the same, act the same, hang out with the same people. Heaven forbid that there are loners, or people who don't fit in with some group - rejection slams the doors in their faces.
WHY?
It is my strong belief that every individual has value. Let me tell you a story I once read. (Note: It was many years ago, so the details may be a little on the sketchy side - but the point's still there!)
Once, there was a very joyous lady whom everyone respected and loved. She was kind to every soul and had great wisdom. People wanted to understand the secret of her joy so they too could experience what she experienced on a daily basis. She told them of a dream she'd had when she was a small girl.
"I was running in a field, and I was very upset. Suddenly, I tripped and fell to the ground. When I looked up, there was a tiny fairy sitting on a flower in front of me. She asked why I was crying, so I explained. What she then told me has changed my life forever."
The day inevitably came when the old lady was on her deathbed. Friends and family begged her to share the secret of what the little fairy had said, afraid that they would never get the joy they so craved if she died without telling. Finally, right before she passed away, she whispered the fairy's last words.
"She told me that everyone in the world, whether rich or poor, big or small - everyone had need of me."
That story changed my life. I read it for the first time probably ten years ago, and it reshaped the way I think about people, and about myself. I understood the point, and it taught me a very valuable lesson in my opinion - everyone is valuable. Not only that, but every single person in this world has something to share that NO ONE ELSE ON THE PLANET, past, present or future, will be able to give people. Every individual has their own perspectives and experience, and you need everyone to make this world reach its potential.
I chose a long time ago that I didn't care if I fit with the 'in' crowd. I live my life to my own beat, and if people don't like me that way that I come, well, hey - there's six billion other people to make friends with. Just kidding. But in all honesty, I'm not willing to compromise who I am to become what someone else wants me to be. I can honestly say that I don't know of a single person who dislikes me. I'm not trying to brag, but I have never had an enemy or even a serious fight with a friend or schoolmate. At the same time, I've never been considered popular. I'm just sincere, and people seem to gravitate toward that.
As a good example of something personal, I don't wear makeup too often. If I do, it's very natural. I always feel like I'm hiding behind a mask when I put the stuff on - like people won't see the real me - they'll only see the me I've created for them to see. I don't like that idea. I don't wear it.
People have told me hundreds of times in the past few years that they admire me for my courage to step out from under the umbrella of popularity. One of my best friends wrote everyone a letter as part of a gift from himself to the class when we graduated. I want to share part of mine with you here.
Dear: Ashleigh
... I want to say that you've been a great friend all through school and you're not only extremely thoughtful but you're also extremely brave. You've never been afraid to pray in class (yes, I'm a Christian), to stand in the front of worship, or to speak your mind. I admire that about you, and I hope you don't lose those characteristics. ...
...I just want to say that ever since I've been here you've been extremely friendly. You're easy to talk to and I'm glad I've gotten to know you. ...
- Anthony
I guess what I'm trying to say here is people crave relationships with real people - but today's society seems to force us into being something we're not. I want to encourage you today to think differently about yourself and those around you. What do you do to fit in - and is it really a part of 'you'? Don't ever compromise your giftings, talents and passions for things in life to have friends. As my science teacher, a man of great wisdom, used to say about our homework assignments: "If you have a question, don't be afraid to ask it. Chances are likely that more than one person in the room has the same question, and if you don't ask, the only one you're hurting is yourself." The same principle can be applied to one's self image. Don't bend to fit in, because when you do that, you're depriving the world of a lovely person that will only come out when you're being who you really want to be - yourself.
My sister was watching a new TV show on MTV this week, called "If You Really Knew Me." It was about taking a highschool class and teaching them to value others for who they are, and building better relationships based on real facts about the person rather than the persona they had created to fit in. One activity featured groups of students from different cliques sitting in a circle and sharing formerly private details about themselves that would have made them look weak or different according to their friends. It floored me, and at the same time, I wasn't surprised at all. One boy in particular shared how the kids at school called him "Fat" - and how much it had hurt him; but he never stood up for himself because that's just what the kids at school called him, that was part of the mask he put on every day in exchange for popularity.
My question for you this week is this. If I were to ask you to end the sentence, "If you REALLY knew me..." what would you say? Is there something vital to who you are that's been shoved in the closet because there's no room for it in your clique? Remember. It's absolutely necessary that you know who you are and that you are comfortable with that person - if there's something bothering you about your image, you have the power to change it for the better. Let people know who the real you is... and if they ditch you, they only liked your mask anyway. But masks are only for plays. Life isn't a play. It's real. You should be, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment